


Revenge is Gonna be Mine

by orphan_account



Series: The Tate Chronicles. [2]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Attempted Sexual Assault, Chains, Dark Captain Hook | Killian Jones, Dominance, Dubious Consent, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Flogging, Insomnia, Light Bondage, Madness, Mental Instability, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Praise Kink, Public Sex, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rough Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Safewords, Self-Harm, Sequel, Stockholm Syndrome, Tasers, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-19
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-06-12 18:40:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 35,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15346116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: **Sequel To Stowaway**Killian has finally found his redemption, and a new love in his girlfriend Jordan in Storybrooke,   Jordan lets him be whoever he wants to be, she doesn't care about his past and loves his light side and his dark side equally. Everything is ship shape for Captain Killian Jones.Enter his menacing, Revenge thirsty son Benjamin who wants nothing more than to destroy any hope of a happy ending for his father threatening to tell Jordan and everyone else the kind of man his father truly is. Killian begins to have trouble as his past begins to haunt his dreams once again, and he begins to act out his dreams.Jordan admires Killian's darker side, and often encourages him to let it out every now and then, but how dark is too dark for her?On top of all that, Killian begins to realize that he knows next to nothing about who the woman he loves really is.





	1. Bad Form

**Author's Note:**

> Picks up right where part one left off so if you haven't read that one, Go back and read it or this wont make any sense.  
> Tags will be added as the story continues, I'm just tagging the things that I KNOW for sure will be a thing in this story and a couple of things that already happen in this first chapter.  
> Part one was incredibly dark. Part two will be on the lighter side of things but WILL have its dark elements. Killian's dark side will come to play later on and Jordan doesn't have clean hands either, but you will have to wait and see what I am talking about there! <3 Enjoy!

  
  
“Benjamin, please. This path that you are on.. It only leads to suffering. These people here, they have nothing to do with your quarrel with me. She, has nothing to do with it. If you want to kill me, just do it now. I’ll give you the bloody sword.” Killian pleaded with his son.  
Ben laughed.   
“Thats, precious really but you see, _She_ , makes you happy. So _she_ has everything to do with this as you called it, quarrel. I want to destroy you like you destroyed my mother and then, and only then will I possibly give you mercy and kill you. I might just let you live alone, and hurting for the rest of your days begging for the mercy that she once begged you for.” Ben snarled.   
“I’ll be seeing you. Give _Jordy_ my best, I’m sure our paths will cross soon enough.” He grinned before walking away.   
  
Killian was making a dead run for the library hoping like hell Jordan would be there and that this wasn’t just a cruel joke his son had set up. Would she be alive when he found her? Would there be anything left of her? He dialed her phone for the fourth time and she still wasn’t answering it.   
  
When he finally reached the clock tower there was no sign of her outside of the library doors. He yanked the door open and walked inside.   
“Jordy?” He asked looking around there were only two other people in here that he could see. “Jordan!” He shouted.   
Belle approached him with her hands on her hips.   
“You can’t just come in here shouting, Hook.”   
“I bloody can, and I will. Where is Jordan? Have you seen her?” Killian asked.   
Belle pointed to a series of shelves in the back of the library were Jordan was standing with her headphones on listening to her music with her back turned. Killian hated those damn things. She’d put them on whenever they would have a spat when she wanted to give him the silent treatment, which he also hated. Killian walked over to the shelves in the back of the library and linked his hook around Jordan’s upper arm pulling her further out of view before pulling the headphones off her ears and tossing them aside.   
“Answer your bloody phone woman!” He hissed at her.   
“Killian! What the fu-” Jordan started but Killian cut her off pulling her to him and crashing his lips into hers as if he’d never kiss her again backing her into the corner of the library   
She pulled away from the kiss.   
“I can’t tell if you are mad at me, or if you just missed me.” She said breathlessly and those were the two best kinds of kisses in her opinion.   
“Both.” He muttered kissing down her neck.   
“Why are you mad at me? You told me to meet you at the library instead and you are the one who is late.” She hissed as he bit possessively into the favorite spot on her neck and at that moment she didn’t give a damn what he was mad about anymore.   
“You know what that does to me..” She breathed.   
“Mmm.” Killian growled and put his hook through the metal ring in her choker pulling her closer to him, which he also knew drove her crazy. He looked her in the eyes and she knew at that moment she wasn’t dealing with Killian Jones, she was dealing with Captain Hook. _Her_ Captain.  and Gods be damned if she didn’t love it when he got this way. She loved all aspects of him, she loved his light side, and his dark side, sometimes provoking the darker side of him was fun. No one ever said Jordan was completely sane.   
“I know, precisely what it does to you love.” He whispered and quirked an eyebrow at her. “Be a good lass, and stay quiet.”   
Jordan’s eyes widened but Killian could still see that spark of mischief. His Jordan was always one for pushing the limits.   
“Killian.. We..we’re in the library.”   
“I don’t give a bloody damn where we are. I want you and I want you now.” Killian purred in her ear and nipped at her earlobe.   
Jordan was just glad she had made the split second decision to wear a skirt today.   
“What if someone sees?” Jordan asked but continued to lift her skirt a bit and slip her panties off stepping out of them.   
“Then I imagine they will be in for quite a show.” Killian smirked and took the panties and shoved them in his jacket pocket. Jordan made quick work of his belt buckle and the zipper on his pants pushing them down just enough.   
“What’s got you so riled up anyways?” She asked as he closed the space between them pinning her to the wall. She hooked her legs around his hips.   
“I don’t ask much. Just that when, I call you..” He said and thrust his hips forward. Jordan bit her lip to keep a moan from escaping.   
“Four. Bloody. Times.” He grunted punctuating each word with a thrust that had her seeing stars already.   
“You answer the damn phone!” He hissed at her.   
“I’m sorry, I was listening to my music I didn’t hear my phone. Y-ou shouldn’t have be-Ah! Been late!”   
“If you would have answered your phone, you would have. known why. I was. late.” Killian argued breathlessly and quickly clasped a hand over Jordans mouth to muffle the moan that she couldn’t catch in time. He felt her walls clench around him. He leaned in and bit her shoulder to muffle his own moans as they finished together.   
Killian brought his head up and rested his sweaty forehead on hers smiling at her.   
“You alright?” He asked.   
“Yeah. pleasantly numb actually.” She breathed and smiled at him before pecking him on the lips. “I’m sorry if I worried you Killian.”   
“It's alright love, just..can’t be too careless, I do have a lot of enemies.” He chuckled. “And they know the only way to get to me is to hurt you and if anyone hurt you, I don’t know what I’d do.”   
“No one is going to hurt me Killian.” Jordan reassured him. “Now, come on. I’m hungry and you promised me a cheeseburger.”   
Killian smirked and pulled away from her fixing his pants.  
“As you wish my love.”   
Jordan held her hand out.   
“What?” Killian asked.   
“My panties.” Jordan said.   
“Oh.. no no, I’m keeping them.” Killian grinned and bent down and picked up her headphones handing them to her and leaning in.   
“Incase you can’t behave yourself at dinner love.”   
Jordan raised a challenging eyebrow at him. In that case, she would most definitely not be behaving herself at dinner.   
  
\-----------------------------------------------------------  
  
Jordan could tell that something was bothering Killian, he was constantly looking over his shoulder, and Killian was never really afraid of anything so seeing him this way bothered her too. She reached out and put her hand over his. He turned his head back to her and smiled.   
“What is it love?” He asked.   
“You tell me.” Jordan replied.   
“Jordy, it's nothing.” Killian assured her.   
“Then why do you keep looking over your shoulder like the bloody boogeyman is behind you?” She asked.   
“I’m telling you love, it’s nothing just eat your food so we can finish date night on the ship.” He winked.   
“As thrilled as I am for round two, Killian I am worried about you.” Jordan frowned.   
“You have nothing to be worried about.” Killian smiled and squeezed her hand.   
“If you insist.” Jordan narrowed her eyes skeptically at him. The bell on the door jingled and Killian’s head whipped around again.   
“Relax it's just the savior.” Jordan snorted. Killian looked back at Jordan who had a displeased look on her face.   
“Love, you have me. She does not.”   
“I know.. I just wish she’d..leave.” Jordan mumbled and locked eyes with Emma who looked up at her and glared. Killian noticed the instant spark in Jordy’s eyes and knew things were about to get interesting. Jordan pushed her plate of food over across the table and stood up and strolled to to Killian’s side, and instead of just sitting in the booth next to him, she sat on his lap and brought a trail of kisses up to his ear.   
“Love if you keep up what you are doing we aren’t going to make it back to the ship.” Killian murmured.   
Jordan nipped his earlobe and tugged it with her teeth.  
“Then she can watch you do all the things, she never let you do to her, to me.” Jordan purred.   
“You bloody insatiable little siren.”  Killian growled into her neck.   
Jordan smirked at him and brought her lips to his. He tangled his fingers in the dark brown hair on the back of her head attacking her lips with his.   
Emma walked to the table and cleared her throat.   
“A little busy, Swan.” Killian said as he pulled his lips away from Jordan, who pouted at him.   
“This is a family oriented establishment Hook, there are children here. Including my son. You remember Henry?” Emma asked crossing her arms. Jordan turned her head glaring at Emma.   
“Are you trying to guilt him?” She asked.   
“Jordy..” Killian said in a low warning tone.   
“No, what I am trying to say that is if you two want to throw yourselves at each other to do it somewhere else.” Emma said and rolled her eyes.   
Jordan frowned.   
“Were you not enjoying the show, Swan?” She asked.   
“No, I wasn’t and neither was anyone else.” Emma spat.   
“Maybe you could learn a few things.” Jordan smiled.   
“What could I possibly learn from you Jordan?” Emma asked. Jordan looked down at the sparks coming out of Emma’s twitching fingers.   
“Jordy, enough.” Killian whispered. But Jordan pressed on.   
“Well, for starters you could learn how to keep a man, so they don’t run off and find someone else more equipped to handle them.” Jordan grinned watching Emma’s eyes darken. Emma clenched her fist and Jordan started to wheeze, and gasp trying to breathe as her airways were constricted by an invisible force.    
“Swan!” Killian hissed. “Stop!”   
Emma blinked and looked down at her hand and opened it instantly. Jordan gasped and choked for a minute before laughing.   
“So, the perfect little savior isn’t so perfect.” she wheezed. Killian shifted moving Jordan off his lap.   
“We are leaving.” He said glaring at Emma.   
“Jordan, I didn’t me-”   
“Save it Swan.” Killian spat and then looked down at Jordan   
“You. come on.” He said slipping into the Captain voice, that she normally loved but she could tell this time he was actually upset. Jordan stood from the booth giving Emma one last glare before sliding out and letting Killian out. Jordan went to say one more thing to Emma but Killian took her hand pulling her along with him outside.   
“I was just going to tell her to have a good evening.” Jordan insisted, but Killian knew better. He glanced at her with a skeptical look in his eyes and a raised eyebrow.   
“Well..maybe with a few added words..here and there.” Jordan mumbled. “Besides that was fun.” Jordan grinned   
“Fun?” Killian scoffed. “I don’t believe watching Emma use her magic to choke the life out of you is fun.” He grumbled.   
“Are you really mad?” Jordan asked. “I’m fine.”   
“Yes, Jordan. I am mad because for a split second, you weren’t!” Killian shouted at her. She didn’t flinch. She just stood there and crossed her arms.   
“Are you quite done?” She asked.   
“No, maybe.. I don’t know!” Killian grumbled and started walking ahead of her. He loved her, all of her even the insane bits that liked to tug out his dark side, he even loved how possesive she was back at the diner, but he knew that an angry Swan could actually hurt her which is why he had told her to stop but Jordan was not one for following instructions unless she wanted to.  Jordan sighed and hurried after him.   
“Stop walking so bloody fast!” She whined.   
Killian kept walking.   
“Killian!” She grumbled in frustration.   
Killian stopped and turned around.   
“We don’t like it, when others can’t follow orders now do we love?” He asked.   
“Okay! I’m sorry. I was just poking fun at the savior. I didn’t mean to actually upset you.” She frowned. “Forgive me?” She asked and batted her eyelashes at him sticking out her bottom lip  
“Oh C’mere you..” Killian sighed and wrapped his arm around Jordan’s shoulders pulling her close.  
“Aww yay.” Jordan grinned.   
“How is one supposed to stay mad at you when you look at them like that?” Killian asked.   
“Beats me.” Jordan winked. “So what is left of date night? I still think you need to put a tv on the ship.”   
“I am not putting a tv on my ship.” Killian chuckled. “And I don’t know, that little stunt, makes twice today that you have made me fear for your life. Bad form lass.” Killian chastised her.   
“How the devil was I supposed to know she’d go psycho Swan? And we already.. _Went over_ me not answering my phone.” Jordan smiled with a small blush spreading across her face at the memory of their time in the library this afternoon.   
“You know bloody well, what you were doing Jordy. Lying to the Captain. Also bad form.” Killian said.   
“But.. you know I always make it up to you, _Captain_.” Jordan purred and reached over cupping the bulge in his pants as they walked.   
“You, are just a naughty little thing this evening.” Killian growled. “What am I going to do with you?” He asked stopping and tilting her chin so she was looking at him. Her orange eyes were darkened with lust and she licked her bottom lip.   
“ _Whatever_ you wish.” She whispered.  
“Now that, my love. Is _Good_ form.” Killian grinned   
  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Killian and Jordan laid in tangled, sweaty heap on his bed.   
“Bloody..Hell..” Jordan panted and pushed her sweaty matted bangs off her forehead.   
“What are you so sweaty for, I did all the work.” Killian smirked.   
“Well, for starters, it's  hot in here, and you don’t have air conditioning and  I would have done some of it, but _someone_ likes to be in command in bed.” Jordan said and arched a brow at him.   
“Well, it is my ship, and I am the Captain.” Killian shrugged. “And you did specifically say, I could do whatever I wished.” He winked.   
“I did say that, didn’t I.” Jordan grinned and kissed his chest. “Mmm.. Jonesy? ” She said and walked her fingers up his arm.   
Killian gave her an unamused look. One he hated that nickname, and two she only usually said it when she was about to ask him to do something he didn’t want to do.  
“What?” He asked.   
“I’m hungry.” She replied.   
“Well, than _someone_ should have ate their dinner instead of acting like a Harlot in the middle of Granny’s and agitating Swan.” Killian mocked.   
“You love it when I act like a Harlot.” Jordan propped herself up on her elbows. Killian chuckled. Jordan was perhaps the only woman at this time that would not be offended by being called a Harlot.   
“This is true.” Killian smirked and then sighed when she snuggled into him.   
“Please darling?” She asked.   
“You’re honestly going to make me get up, and go out to acquire you a cheeseburger?” Killian asked.   
“Aye.” She winked and kissed down his treasure trail. “If, you do well on your quest for said cheeseburger, no pickles, mustard, no mayo by the way..” She trailed off as she kissed along his pelvic bone making him tense.   
“You will be greatly rewarded, my Captain.”   
“You bloody tease.” Killian hissed threading his fingers through her hair. “Fine, fine. I will go, same rules as always.”   
“Yes, yes.. Lock the Cabin door answer for no one except you. Honestly Killian, its Storybrooke, nothing is going to happen.” Jordan sighed as Killian rolled off the bed and slipped his pants on.   
“Its, Storybrooke, something is Always happening love.” Killian corrected her.   
“Okay, I will lock the door. Bring me a milkshake too extra whipped cream.” She winked. Killian pulled his teeshirt on.   
“Do try to behave yourself while I am gone.” He insisted as he sat down putting his boots on and lacing them.   
“I will.” Jordan smiled and strolled over and kissed him. “Be careful out there. Watch for the boogeyman.” She smirked.   
“Mocking the Captain. Bad form. You are testy tonight.” said with a raised eyebrow.   
“And I’m sure you’ll find a way to make me pay for it, go! Before Granny’s closes!” Jordan whined.   
“Alright, I am going.” Killian sighed and left the Cabin.   
  
It was a clear night, and although Killian liked it when she stayed in the Cabin at night when she was alone on the ship, Jordan liked to look at the stars. She had her light hooded jacket on with the hood pulled up to keep her hair from blowing all over the place.  She heard the boards on the deck creak and she spun around.   
“Killian I was just out for a se-” She started to explain but there was no one there.   
“Gods Jordan..” She sighed “You’ve gone and gotten yourself spooked now.” She turned back around and was tackled to the deck by a hooded man with a bandana over his mouth. He pinned her to the deck by her wrists but Jordan was not one to give up easily. She lifted her feet and kicked as hard as she could making the man release her. She jumped to her feet and stood with her fists raised as the man came at her with a dagger. She blocked his slashes, and cried out as she missed one and the dagger sliced into her cheek.   
“That bloody hurt!” She growled and lunged forward The man and grabbed the back of his hood He grabbed the back of hers and they both yanked their hoods down at the same time. Jordan looked at the mop of dark hair on the top of the man's head and looked into his crystal blue eyes that were now widened.   
“Wait.. a bloody minute..” she mumbled but he pulled the bandana down around his neck. Jordan gasped.   
“Benjamin??”   
  
((This is just a basic collage of Jordan's look if anyone was curious :P))  



	2. Older Model

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Killian is disturbed by Jordan's past with Ben.

Benjamin stepped back a little looking at the woman in front of him. He hadn't actually seen her up close so he had no idea up until this point what she  looked like. He was just focused on getting his revenge so he was a bit surprised to find that the woman he was trying to hurt was actually someone he knew.

“Maebh?” He questioned. 

“No one knows me by that name here...but yeah its me..” Jordan replied. “What are you doing here? And why did you just try and kill me?”

Ben smirked.

“Aw you know love, the pirates life. I came searching for treasure. And as luck would have it. I found an even better treasure of sorts” he smiled and pushed a strand of damp hair out of her eyes. Jordan rolled her eyes    
“It was a one time thing Benjamin.” She said.    
“It doesn’t have to be love.” Ben winked. “What are you doing getting yourself mixed up with Pirates again?”     
“Jordan! Get away from him!” Killian shouted as he returned to the ship.    
“Killian, its okay.” Jordan said with her hands out. Killian strode over to her, and tilted her head to the side looking at the cut on her cheek.    
“You’re cut.” He said and glared at Ben    
“Its just a scratch Killian.” Jordan shrugged and turned to Ben.    
“This is Captain Benjamin. He was a friend of mine back home. I spent some time on his ship.”    
_ Captain?  _ Killian thought. His heart swelled a little knowing that his son had become a Captain himself but the moment was over quickly when Ben wrapped his arm around Jordan’s shoulders.    
“Don’t be shy love, we were a little more than just friends.” Ben smirked. Jordan sighed and pushed his arm off of her.    
“As I said, one time thing.” She said. Killian handed Jordan a grease spotted bag.    
“Take this, go in the cabin.” He ordered.    
“But Killian its jus-”   
“Just do as I say for once Jordan!” Killian shouted losing his temper for a moment. He sighed. “Please.”    
“Sure..” Jordan sighed and walked off into the Captains Quarters.    
“So you came here to kill her?” Killian asked.    
“Well, no, I was going to kidnap her, torture her slowly and then maybe kill her.” Ben smiled. “However, that is now off the table, so I’ll have to find some other way to destroy you.”    
“Your mother..she did not want this for you Benjamin.” Killian said.    
“Aye, I imagine not, but she more than likely also did not want to be raped, over and over, she probably also didn’t want to be beaten and tortured.” Ben snarled.    
“I will never forgive myself for what I did to her Ben, but what you are doing.. It isn’t justice for her. You are becoming everything she hated in me!”    
Ben looked hurt for a moment before shaking it off.    
“You think you can stop me?” Ben asked. “With your words about how my mother would have hated what I became? If you hadn’t raped her, None of this would be happening! This is all your fault and I will burn this whole bloody town to the ground if I have to to get my revenge” Ben Spat and turned away from him walking off. Ben had become blinded by his need for revenge, and Killian couldn’t help but think that things were going to start getting worse and worse.    
  
When Killian returned to the cabin Jordan was sitting on the bed eating her cheeseburger She had a bandage over the cut on her cheek she saw him walk in and then looked away from him silently eating.    
“You’re angry with me?” Killian asked. Jordan said nothing. Killian hated the silent treatment. He’d rather have her scream at him than this. Killian sighed and sat down next to her and stole a french fry from the bag.    
“Have a thing for Captains do ya?” He asked. Jordan glared at him and stood up walking to his desk with her back to him.    
“Bloody hell woman talk to me!” Killian groaned. Jordan picked up her headphones from his desk.    
“Don’t you dare.” Killian said. Jordan turned her head raising her eyebrow at him and slipped the headphones over her ears.    
“Jordan..” Killian said. Jordan turned the volume up on her ipod.    
“Alright. Fine.” Killian grumbled and stood up and walked over to his desk and pulled her headphones off her head unplugging them. He then walked over to the window in his cabin and opened it. Jordan stood from the chair.    
“You wouldn’t!” She said.    
“Oh, She speaks!” Killian spat and extended his arm out the window.    
“Killian!” Jordan yelled and hurried over to him reaching for her headphones.    
“Why are you mad at me?” Killian asked.    
“Because you’re an asshole!” Jordan grumbled. “And you think I’m just some damsel in distress that can’t take care of myself!”    
“He tried to kill you!” Killian argued.    
“But he didn’t. And he won’t. He is a friend.”    
“That man is not your friend Jordy.” Killian said and shook his head.    
“What. Are you jealous of him or something?? It was one time! And it was a long time ago.” Jordan crossed her arms.    
“Jealous of him? Wait.. you mean you actually.. Bloody hell..” Killian said.    
“We had se-”   
“Don’t say it!” Killian said and scrunched up his face.    
“What is wrong with you??” Jordan asked. “It was ancient history. I don’t have a thing for Captains, I have a thing for MY captain and that is you. And no one else.” Jordan frowned. Killian sighed and pulled his arm with her headphones in the window and handed them to her.    
“I’m.. not jealous Jordy.” He said and sat down. “Slightly..disturbed but not jealous.” Killian said. Jordan frowned and walked over and sat in his lap putting her arms around his shoulders.    
“What’s wrong?” She asked.    
“How much do you know about Benjamin?” Killian asked.    
“Not a lot, I was a stowaway on his ship. I was running from the evil queens men. I heard that he was a cutthroat pirate, worse than blackbeard, I figured if I wasn’t discovered I’d be safer there than with the queens men and when he found me, I thought I was bloody done for, but he was actually..decent to me. He offered me safe passage to wherever I wanted to go. He gave me a safe place to sleep, and he fed me. He seemed nice. We had made port, and I was supposed to get off off the ship then, but he invited me to the Tavern with him and his crew, you know me, I don’t turn down free drinks.” Jordan smirked. “We drank, and laughed and then one thing led to another but it was awkward for me the next day, Something about it just felt wrong so I slipped off the ship and I didn’t see him again until tonight.” Jordan shrugged. “Is he one of these many enemies you have?” she asked. Killian sighed again    
“Aye. By his choice, not mine.”    
“I know, we have that don’t ask don’t tell thing about our past.. But you seem really bothered by this. You know you can tell me anything.” Jordan said. “I love you, the light and the dark.” she smiled and brushed her hand over his cheek. Killian smiled at her.    
“This.. is incredibly awkward.” He said. “I..don’t know if you could handle it.”    
“Oh..well now you HAVE to tell me.” Jordan giggled.    
“Ben is..” Killian paused. “He’s my son.”    
Jordan laughed. “Come on.” She said and studied Killian’s expression. He wasn’t kidding.    
“Oh… Oh.. Oh My Gods.. I slept with my boyfriends son.” Jordan said with a mortified expression.    
“Aye. As I said, Awkward.” Killian smirked.    
“Well… it..is strange, but this is Storybrooke, stranger things have happened but.. It's still nothing I can’t handle.” She smiled at Killian.    
“Oh?” Killian grinned.    
Jordan shrugged. “I mean like everything else, it was in the past. I mean.. You are okay with this right?”    
“Its strange, but as long as you don’t go running back to him I’m fine.” Killian smiled.    
“Are you kidding? I’m all yours Captain.” Jordan grinned  and nuzzled into his neck. “Besides.” She purred. “I prefer the  _ older _ model.” She said pulling away to look at him to give him a wink.    
“Oh, the older model? Is that so?” He smirked and shifted her pinning her down onto the mattress.    
“I may be old, but I do pretty well keeping up with you.”    
“I don’t know, you have been slacking a little.” Jordan giggled.    
“Are you challenging me?” Killian asked.    
“Well, you  _ do  _ so love a challenge. And.. I usually enjoy taking part in your challenge.” Jordan smirked. Killian raised an eyebrow at her and then leaned down to kiss and nip at her neck. But then he paused and looked up at her.    
“Now, wait a minute.” He said. “I specifically remember you saying I would be rewarded greatly for acquiring you a cheeseburger. Which I did, and you ate said cheeseburger, and here I sit, unrewarded.” Killian said and stood up. Jordan rolled off the bed.    
“What would you like to be rewarded with?” She asked and strolled over to him tugging his teeshirt over his head and tossing it aside. She ghosted her fingers over his chest. Killian raised his hook and put it under his chin while he thought and then a wicked grin spread across his face. Jordan felt giddy inside she loved this look.    
_ Say it. Please say it!  _ She thought to herself.    
“Oh your  _ knees _ for the Captain.” Killian said switching to his Captain tone.    
_ Yes!  _ Jordan squealed internally.    
“Aye Captain.” She grinned and sunk down to her knees.    
  
\-------------------------------------------------------   
  
The telltale signs of dawn were peeking into the window when Killian and Jordan collapsed together on the bed catching their breaths.    
“I’ll never call you old again.” Jordan breathed. Killian chuckled.    
“We both know. You will, you love challenging me.”    
“That I do.” Jordan smiled and laid her head on his chest drawing patterns with her index finger.    
“So.. why is Ben an enemy of yours?” Jordan asked. Killian went quiet. He couldn’t tell her that. Not yet. Jordan felt him tense.    
“Hey.. its okay. Forget I asked.” Jordan said and kissed his chest. Killian settled down and ran his hand through her hair. He loved that she didn’t care and that if he didn’t want to talk about it, she didn’t press. He was free to be whoever he wanted to be with her. Jordan yawned and snuggled into him. She reached down and pulled the blanket over the two of them.    
“Ready for bed?” Jordan asked. Killian nodded and kissed the top of her head.    
“Sleep love.”    
It wasn’t too much longer before Jordan was snoring lightly on his chest. But sleep wouldn’t come for Killian. The only thing he could see when he closed his eyes was  _ her.  _ And it had been a long while since Lenna had been on his mind, but Ben’s reappearance was digging up all of Killian’s demons. He looked down at Jordan who was sleeping peacefully. He held her tighter to his chest.    
“I don’t know what these next days will bring my love.” He whispered. “But no matter what happens, what you hear know that I love you.” He kissed the top of her head again and she smiled in her sleep. 


	3. Loyalty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jordan deals with some demons of her own, Killian gets suspicious after Jordan has avoided him for three days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter is a bit angsty and gets pretty explicit at the end so enjoy that ;)   
> and in case there is any confusion, Jordan's pre-curse name is Maebh. (Pronounced May+V) Why she hates her name will be mentioned later on.   
> I hope you guys are enjoying this one as much as Stowaway, I promise the darkness that you guys loved in Stowaway is coming. ;)

It had been a couple of weeks since Benjamin had arrived in Storybrooke and it was way too quiet for Killian’s comfort. Where was he hiding? When would he make his next move? Why had no one else asked about his appearance?    
On top of all of that, Jordan had been kind of distant with him for a few days. She did this last year around this time too. She kept herself locked up in her room at the B&B and only answered her phone if he threatened to come break the door down.    
He knew she had her demons too, but at least she knew about his, everyone did. No one knew hardly a thing about Jordan, but she liked it that way.    
  
Jordan sat at the table in her room with a bottle of rum, she had taken from Killian’s ship in one hand and a cigarette in the other trying to ignore the knocking on the door. She knew it wasn’t Killian’s knock, it was too light handed, but since the person on the other side was not going to go away until she answered the door she grumbled and stood up and pulled the door open and looked at Ruby.    
“Red.” She greeted. Ruby sighed.    
“Christ Jordy you smell like a pirate, and I’ve told you Granny does not want you smoking in here.”    
“Right.” Jordan sighed. “Is there a reason you are here?”    
“Someone left this in the lobby for you.” Ruby replied and handed her an envelope and a pink rose.    
“Oh.. Thanks.” Jordan shrugged.    
“Are you okay? Its just.. Usually you and Killian are attached at the hips and I’ve hardly seen you leave this room in two days and you are drinking..” Ruby observed.    
“Killian and I are fine. We do spend time apart sometimes.” Jordan sighed and looked down at the envelope with the name Maebh scrawled on it. Ruby had started walking away.    
“Wait. Ruby…” Jordan said. Ruby turned.    
“Yeah?”    
“Who left this?” She asked.    
“He didn’t give a name. Just some old guy.” Ruby shrugged. Jordan nodded and walked back into the room. She looked at the pink rose and laid it on the table and then opened the envelope and pulled out the card and opened it and scoffed.    
“Happy Birthday, my dearest Maebh, With love, Your Father.” She read out loud before tearing the card to shreds tossing it into the trash can. She walked back over to the table and grabbed the rum tipping it back.    
  
A few hours later, Jordan found herself staggering around town square when she quite literally bumped into Ben and fell backwards.    
“Whoa!” Ben chuckled and looked down at her. “Its been ages since I’ve seen you this drunk.” He said extended his hand to help her up   
“I’m not drunk, Benji.” She grumbled and reached for his hand going to grab it but fell forward.    
“Love, you are loaded to the gunwall.” Ben sighed and lifted her from under her arms helping her to her feet.    
“I haven’t a clue what you just said. I don’t speak that fancy smancy pirate language.”    
“Its a  _ fancy smancy _ pirate way of saying you are drunk.” Ben laughed. “Come on Mae, lets get you something in your stomach, preferably a solid..not a liquid.”    
“Don’t! Call me that! Don’t EVER call me that!” She yelled at him. Ben put his hands up.    
“As you wish. Calm down lass what has got you so riled up?”    
“This bloody stupid day, is stupid.” She mumbled and kicked the trash can on the side of the street.    
“You always had a way with words.” Ben smirked and put his arm around her shoulders leading her towards Granny’s.    
“Wait. Stop!” Jordan groaned and staggered back to the trash can retching into it.    
“Oi..” Ben sighed. “Feeling better lass?” He asked Jordan just groaned in response.    
  
Jordan sipped slowly at the coffee in front of her and then took a bite out of a french fry.    
“So.. Killian told me about you.” She said.    
“He did, did he?” Ben asked.    
“Well, he said you’re his son..” She replied. “And that you hate him. Why is that?”    
“I’d love to inform you, but I fear you wont remember it.” Ben smiled. “In time love.. What are you doing with him Ma-Sorry, Jordan? Hes not a good man..”    
“I’m not the best person either Ben. But its all in the past. He’s a good man now.”    
“You’re ledger, is far less red than his is believe me. And He may have you fooled but he does not have me fooled. He will hurt you Jordan you need to leave him before that happens.”    
“I can’t just leave him Ben, we understand each other”   
“So do you and I.” Ben shrugged.    
“I need him. And He needs me.”    
“He doesn’t need you, and you definitely don’t need him, he's just making you feel that way because it's what he does.”    
“Can we not talk about this?” Jordan sighed.    
“Fine. what would you like to talk about?” Ben asked.    
“I don’t know.. Where have you been?”    
“Some place called New York.” Ben replied and smiled.    
“Oh? How is it? I’ve heard its nice.”    
“We can go.. You know. You and me. We can leave now.” Ben said and put his hand over hers.   
  
\-----------------------------------------------    
  
Meanwhile, Killian who was walking to Granny’s to get Jordan something to eat after Ruby told him she had been drinking, and hadn’t even left the room in two days Had stopped outside the diner looking in the window. Jordan was already in there, and she wasn’t alone. She was with Ben, and he was holding her hand and she was smiling at him and him at her.    
This wouldn’t do. He felt rage bubbling under his skin as he went across the street to the Bed and breakfast. He walked into the building and up the stairs to Jordan’s room and picked the lock on the door. He would wait for her to return and she wouldn’t be able to avoid him then. He pushed the door open and stepped in looking at the half empty bottle of rum on the table that she had taken from his ship.    
_ Sneaky little devil..  _ _   
_ He looked beside the bottle at a single pink rose laying on the table. It had to have been from  _ him _ . Why would she do this to him?  _ How  _ could she do this to him?! He crushed the flower in his hand and tossed it back down on the table and picked up the bottle and threw it across the room. It shattered on the wall. He was seething now.    
  
\------------------------------------------------ _   
_ _   
_ “Ben.. I can’t leave with you.” Jordan said.    
“I will give up everything Mae if you just come with me.”    
“What are you even talking about?” Jordan sighed. “No. Nevermind. This was a mistake. Ben you’re a wonderful friend but thats all we are. Friends. I love Killian.”    
“He will bloody destroy you!” Ben shouted and slammed his fist on the table. Jordan stood up.    
“Enough Ben!”    
“Don’t you see I am trying to protect you?!” Ben spat Jordan shook her head.    
“I’m leaving.” She said and went to walk away but Ben caught her arm gripping  it tightly.    
“You are not!” He growled. “I will not let him hurt you.”    
“Ben! YOU are hurting me!” Jordan said trying to pull her arm away from him.    
Ben looked down at his fingernails digging into her arm and released her.    
“Jordan.. I.. didn’t mean to.” He said softly.    
“Its.. whatever. Just let me go.” She mumbled and walked past him and out the door.    
  
\---------------------------------------------------   
  
Jordan went to put her key in the door but noticed it was open just a crack. She reached in her back pocket and pulled out her knife and flipped it open before pushing the door open with her foot She stepped in and walked a little ways in before the door slammed behind her. She whipped around and sighed.    
“Killian.. Bloody hell!” She hissed. “What the fuck are you doing here?”     
“What the fuck am I doing here?” Killian scoffed. “Wheres Ben?”    
“Ben? Why should I know?” Jordan asked. Killian glared at her.    
“You’re going to lie to me then?” He asked. “I fucking saw you with him! You have been avoiding me for three bloody days, and I find you getting all cozy with him in Granny’s.”    
“That was not what it looked like Killian!” Jordan shouted.    
“Bullshit! I thought maybe you were just having some troubles with your demons, like last year. But turns out you are fucking him behind my back!”    
“You sound bloody ridiculous! I was drunk and walking the town he took me to get something to eat. That was all! Hes a friend, NOTHING more and I am not in the mood for this shit tonight so you need to leave!”    
“I am not leaving.” Killian glared. “If you aren’t seeing him. Who gave you the rose? I deserve an explanation Jordan!”    
“What happened to what happen in the past stays in the past?” Jordan asked.    
“That works just well for you because you’ve heard the tales of my past. I know nothing about you Jordan. Throw me a bone so I know what the fuck is going on when you sit in here and drink for two days!”    
“Its my birthday..” Jordan mumbled and looked away.    
“What?” Killian asked.    
“Its my birthday. I hate my birthday. The rose wasn’t from Ben. It was from my father, he gives me one every year. I hate my birthday and I fucking hate him too!” Jordan wiped tears from her eyes and Killian realized then that they had been together for over a year and he had never seen her cry before.    
“I had a sister, and she ran off when she was 17 and got pregnant out of wedlock and my father disowned her. So on my 17th birthday my father gave me an infertility potion to ensure, that I would not do the same. So just like last year, I wanted to be alone. I drank, smoked a little but I had a little too much to drink this time and left the room. Ben found me stumbling around and took me to Granny’s to help sober me up, we got into a fight, he wanted me to leave with him because he seems to think that you are going to hurt me and he freaked out when I told him no but I am not fucking him. I love you. I would never do that to you! How could you think I would ever do that to you?!” Jordan asked and shoved him backwards    
“Bloody hell.. Jordan I’m sorry.” Killian said but Jordan shoved him again.    
“Fuck you!” She yelled.    
“Hey. Stop!” Killian said. “I’m sorry!” He grabbed Jordans wrists as she started swinging at him. “I’m. Sorry.” He repeated. Jordan looked at him with her orange eyes welling with tears.    
He pulled her to him and she cried into his shirt.    
“Let it out love..” Killian said and walked her backwards into the bathroom to run her a bath.    
“Here. sit.” He said and lifted her onto the sink counter while he started the bathtub and poured a generous amount of lavender soap into it. He helped her out of her clothes while the tub filled and then helped her into the tub.    
“Where are you going?” Jordan asked as he started walking out of the room.    
“Well.. I made quite the mess in the room earlier, I’m going to pick it up, and then I’ll leave you be.”    
“Please.. Don’t go.” Jordan frowned. “I don’t want to be alone anymore.”    
“Okay, love. I’ll stay. I’ll be out here when you are done.” Killian nodded and walked back into the room to clean the mess.    
He felt horrible for assuming she had cheated on him, and for screaming at her the way he had. Especially after learning the reason she was upset, even if she hated her birthday she didn’t deserve to be treated the way he had treated her on her birthday no one did. He would spend an eternity trying to find a way to make that up to her.    
  
\-------------------------------------------------   
  
Jordan strolled out of the bathroom wrapped in her black bathrobe. Killian sat on the bed against the headboard figuring they were just going to bed he had changed into a pair of his sleep pants he had there. and was shirtless. Jordan strolled over to the bed biting her lip.She climbed on the bed and straddled his lap before untying the robe and letting it fall down around her  Killian breathed in the calming scent of the lavender as he took in the sight of her. Jordan leaned in and kissed down his neck biting down hard in one spot making him hiss. She was marking him. Which was usually what he did. She ran her tongue over the small purple and red bruise and kissed gently, rocking herself against his growing clothed erection. She moved her lips down his chest. Her fingers ghosted over his treasure trail and then hooked around the waistband of his pants. She shifted and pulled his pants down off of his hips. He kicked them the rest of the way off and went to put his hand on her hip but she grabbed his wrist and pinned it to the headboard doing the same with his left wrist.    
“No. Touching.” She purred in his ear.    
“Now, love you know.. That this is not how it works..” Killian purred back. “I am the captain. I make the demands.”    
“Not tonight.” Jordan said. “Now, be a good boy and don’t touch.” She said and moved her hand and pat his cheek.    
_ Oh.. You will pay for this, you little siren.  _ _   
_ Jordan lifted herself off of his hips and sank back down on him both of them shuddered in pleasure    
“You. Are. Mine.” She said. “Why would I ever waste my time with anyone else when I have you?” She asked.    
“Jordan, I am so sorry for assuming you did..” Killian sighed.    
“I know you are.” Jordan replied and moved herself on him at an agonizingly slow pace.    
“Bloody hell woman..” Killian grunted and fought every urge not to flip her over and fuck her with abandon until the sun came up for teasing him. He told himself she needed this. She needed to feel the control and he would allow it  __ tonight .    
She slowly started to move faster.. And faster impaling herself on him.    
“Fuck..” Killian moaned. Jordan frowned She liked the control but it wasn’t the same. She needed him to touch her. Pressed her chest to his Killian pressed his lips to her neck and kissed and sucked tenderly. She grabbed his right hand and pushed it down were they were joined.    
“I thought you didn’t want me touching you.” Killian smirked against her neck.    
“Just fucking do it!” She growled in his ear and then nearly screamed as his fingers rubbed at her sensetive nub feverishly.    
“Come on love..” Killian panted as she bounced up and down on him now. “Bloody..fuck.” He groaned and bit into her shoulder as she clenched around him and he erupted inside of her. She raked her fingernails up his back and screamed her release before collapsing on him her whole body trembled in the aftershocks and he held her close.    
“I’ll never doubt your loyalty again love. I promise.” He whispered into her ear. 


	4. Stay In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Killian and Jordan discuss the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick, slightly smutty filler chapter before I jump into the plot of all of this next chapter.   
> Again sorry for slow updates.   
> Life gets in the way sometimes..

At the first signs of sunlight, Killian was wide awake naturally. He was used to early mornings. Jordan, not so much. She was a night owl, and would sleep until the afternoon if he let her. However, today he’d let her sleep in just a little. She did have a bit to drink the night before and it gave him time to think. He looked at the crumpled rose and still felt horrible for screaming at her the way he had, accusing her of cheating on him.    
He thought about the emotion she showed last night, they had been together over a year and that was the first time he had seen her cry, it was also the first time she had let him know anything about her past. He’d always thought his father was the lowest of low for selling him and his brother to slavery but what Jordan’s father did was a whole new level of low.    
Killian had always assumed that she just didn’t want children because she was very free spirited, she did what she wanted when she wanted and children would get in the way of that. He didn’t realize that she didn’t have a choice in the matter. It was stripped from her in the most cruel way. He felt anger boil within him at this man he had never met and he sincerely hoped he never would.    
  
Killian had gone to get some  _ breakfast _ and when he returned Jordan was sitting up flipping through the tv.    
“Morning love.” He smiled.    
“Its afternoon.” She replied.    
“Well, it's morning for you and I’ve procured your favorite hangover food.” Killian grinned. Jordan looked up and gave him a small smile.    
“Thanks.” She said “I’ll get to it in a minute.”    
Killian frowned and walked over to the bed and sat down beside her.    
“What is it love?” He asked.    
Jordan shrugged. “It's nothing really.”    
“I’ve been around women long enough to know that nothing means something darling.” Killian sighed. Jordan looked up at him. Her orange eyes were watering.    
“I’m sorry, Its just this time of the year is horrible enough. In all the years I’ve been in Storybrooke, my father has been here too. I thought that he understood that I wanted nothing to do with him. I don’t understand why he’s started this.” Jordan sighed. “It's just another reminder.”    
“Maybe he’s realized the mistakes he's made and maybe he feels he is redeeming himself.” Killian suggested.    
“I’ll never forgive him for what he did.” Jordan shook her head.    
“I’m not saying you should. I was just saying I understand what he may be trying to do and I think maybe you’d feel better if you confronted him.”    
“I don’t know about that.”    
“Well, I’m not saying you have to do it today, think on it.” Killian shrugged.    
Jordan nodded. “Okay.” She said and squeezed his hand.   
“This..isn’t a deal breaker is it?” She asked.    
“What?” Killian asked.    
“I can’t have children Killian. If you want children someday It might be best to end this now.”    
“Hey, I’m not going anywhere.” Killian said and wiped a tear from Jordan’s cheek.    
“Sorry..” She muttered.    
“You don’t have to apologize to me when you cry love.. And besides, I have one child, and you see how that worked out for me.” He smirked.    
Jordan scoffed and smiled   
“If we decide later on that we do want children, There are other options and there may even be magic to reverse what your father has done but I will be here, for as long as you will have me.” Killian smiled. Jordan pushed her forehead against his    
“Thank you.” She smiled and kissed him. “So what is on your agenda today, Captain?” She asked.    
“Whatever you’d like to do. I’ve got nothing planned.” Killian replied.    
“ _ Whatever _ I want to do?” Jordan asked.    
“What did you have in mind?”    
“Well, I am going to eat those fries that you brought me, because they smell delicious, and then I propose we go back to bed.” She smirked.    
“Bed? Jordy it's the middle of the afternoon.”    
“I mean.. Without the clothes.” Jordan bit her lip and unzipped his vest.    
“I suppose I could make an exception for that.” Killian grinned   
“Excellent.” Jordan said and stood from the bed and walked over to the table. Killian eyed her as she walked, she was in her panties and one of his shirts. She sat down and dug into the food he had bought for her. Killian pulled his vest off and started working on the buttons of his shirt.    
“Oh, dinner and a show, and me without dollar bills.” Jordan winked.    
“Why would you-No I probably don’t want to know.” Killian chuckled and shook his head and took the shirt off tossing it aside. He glanced over at Jordan who was staring at him so intently she missed her mouth with the french fry and it fell into her lap. He raised his eyebrow and smirked.    
“You might enjoy those more if you pay attention to what you are doing.”    
“Hah hah, pirate.” Jordan quipped and plucked the french fry from her lap and threw it at him. Killian unbuckled his belt    
“You gonna eat? Or are you just skipping that all together?” Jordan giggled. Killian sauntered over to her his belt buckle clanked as he walked.    
“Oh. I’m going to eat, but what I want isn’t on Granny’s menu, or if it is, we need to have a serious talk.” He smirked    
“What are you-” She stopped short watching Killian drop to his knees and crawl under the table.    
“Pay no mind to me love.” He said. She jumped slightly as she felt the cold metal of his hook go up her thigh. His fingers hooked around her panties and he pulled them down her legs and tossed them to the side. He pushed her knees apart with his hook and kissed up her inner thigh.    
“How am I supposed to pay no mind to-Oh..” She sighed and tangled her fingers in his dark messy hair. He had to have been being sarcastic when he told her to pay no mind to him because he wasn’t giving her an option with the way he had wasted no time diving into her core with his tongue like he’d never see it again. She slid forward in the chair giving him better access, She squeezed her fingers that were tangled in his hair together tugging lightly. He growled against her the vibrations from his growl made her toes curl.    
“Fuck.. Killian!” She squeaked as she felt a knot building in her stomach. She rocked herself against his mouth. He had to use his hook to keep the chair from tipping backwards He felt her thighs trembling around his head and she gave his hair another hard tug as she came undone.    
He raised his head and smirked up at her, she was panting and pushing her sweaty bangs off of her forehead, she looked down at him, absolutely wrecked.    
“Beautiful, love.” He purred and pulled away from her and crawled out from under the table. “Now, as soon as you are done with your meal we can as you put it, go back to bed.” He smiled. Jordan stood up and pushed the bag of french fries away from her and pulled the tee shirt over her head and flung it across the room.    
“Fuck the french fries.” She mumbled and jumped on him taking him to the floor. 


	5. Dance With The Devil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The secret Jordan has been holding onto is revealed to all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I am so sorry for the slow updates. I suck I know, but I just got out of a horrible depression, I started a new Job and I wanted to wrap up a couple of my Wattpad Books before I worked on these. (I currently have 5 stories in progress between here and Wattpad and I am trying to work on them all when I can.)   
> Next I plan to update Misbehaved, and possibly Leather and Lace. 
> 
> Anyways as promised Some actual freaking plot! Enjoy! Let me know what you all think of the plot twist ;)

_ A couple weeks later _ _   
_ _   
_ Killian was busy doing some work on his ship, he had promised to take Jordan out sailing that weekend. So Jordan was downtown looking for something to occupy her time. As she walked by Mr. Gold's pawn shop she looked in the window and saw her father standing there talking to Gold. He turned his head and made eye contact with her. Jordan shook her head and started walking quickly. She heard the door to the pawn shop open.    
“Maebh.” Her father’s voice called.    
“Sod off.” She mumbled and kept walking    
“Maebh please.. Just give me a moment of your time.”    
Jordan turned around. “I gave you 16 years of my time and you fucked it up.” She spat “and its not Maebh anymore. Its Jordan.”    
“You kept your cursed name? Why?” He asked.    
“Because I hated my name before I was cursed so when I got the chance to drop it I did.”    
“It's a pretty name, your mother picked it.” He replied with a sad look in his eyes.    
“Is there something you wanted I have better things to do.” Jordan snapped.    
He walked up to her and handed her an envelope.She opened it and pulled out the invitation inside.    
“You’re hosting a Benefit Masquerade Ball? You?” Jordan scoffed.    
“Actually, The Charmings are hosting it but the benefit is for me.”    
“Yeah, no thanks. I don’t do ball gowns and fancy dances anymore.”    
“Honestly Maebh you never did before, it was a nightmare to get you to wear a dress for anything.” He chuckled.    
Jordan rolled her eyes.    
“I won’t be there. I have plans this weekend.” Jordan said and started walking away.    
“I’m dying...Jordan.”    
Jordan stopped and felt a pang of guilt  and cursed herself mentally. After everything he did to her, He was still her father and he was the only family she had left. Unless she found her sister.    
She turned around again.    
“That's why I am doing the benefit. To help with final medical expenses. I just want to see you one time at a ball before I pass. Please.”    
“Why didn’t you just find someone to give you a potion? That seems to cure all your problems.” Jordan narrowed her eyes.    
“I asked the mayor, and I asked Mr. Gold they can’t help me. Its beyond magic. I’m sorry for what I did to you and.. If you come this weekend and just give me this last moment with you, I will give you the potion to reverse the damage I did.”    
“Why not give it to me now and call it even?” Jordan asked.Her father just gave her a look, he was begging her with his eyes.    
“Fine. But I’m bringing a date and you don’t tell people that you are my father. No one knows who I am. I’d like to keep it that way.” Jordan sighed. Her father smiled and reached into his pocket. He took Jordan’s hand and placed something in it.    
“Wear this at the ball. It belonged to your sister. Its all I have of her.” He smiled again before walking away.    
Jordan opened her hand and looked down at the necklace with a jewel encrusted lion head pendant.    
“What were you doing talking to him?” Ben asked coming up behind her. Jordan quickly tucked the necklace into her jacket pocket and turned around.    
“He was giving me an invite to the masquerade ball this weekend..” Jordan replied.    
“You should be careful with him.” Ben warned. Jordan rolled her eyes.    
“Not everyone is going to hurt me Ben and besides, he's old. I could take him.” She smirked    
“I’m just looking out for you Mae.” Ben sighed.    
“I don’t need you to Ben, I’m perfectly capable of looking out for myself thank you.” She said and stepped out to cross the street. Ben reached out and yanked her backwards as a Car sped past.    
“Are you love?” He asked.    
“Besides that, I can look out for myself.” Jordan mumbled.    
“So are you going to this masquerade ball then?” Ben asked.    
“Yes, I am. And I’m bringing _ Killian _ .” Jordan emphasized. Ben narrowed his eyes.    
“I didn’t doubt you would. You were never one for making great choices.” He said and turned and started walking away.   
“What the hell is your problem with him? He’s your father! The only one you have maybe don’t be such a dick!”    
“In time, darling. In time.” Ben said as he kept walking away.    
“Asshole..” Jordan mumbled and  started making her way back to Killians ship after enough excitement downtown for one day.    
  
Jordan snuck up behind Killian and stood on her tiptoes and put her hands over his eyes.    
“Guess who?” She said.    
“Love, why would you ask me to guess? I know your voice.” Killian laughed.    
“You know.. You have a point.” Jordan said and shrugged. Killian turned around and pulled her close    
“Still a surprise, I didn’t expect you until later.”Killian smiled and kissed her.     
“I dunno maybe I just like watching you do pirate stuff.” Jordan smirked.   
“Is that so?” Killian grinned and twirled her hair in his fingers.    
“Mmhm.” Jordan replied and bit her lip. “I also really like this ship.” Jordan said    
“Well then you are going to love this weekend. Because when we are out there..and its just you and me” He said and pointed towards the sea “I am going to take you on every bloody inch of this ship.” He whispered. Jordan shivered.    
_ Gods please, yes!  _ She thought and then groaned remembering the promise she made to her father.    
“Actually… there's been a slight change of plans..” Jordan sighed. Killian’s face dropped.    
“What happened?”    
“Please don’t be mad, but.. I agreed to go to the Benefit Masquerade Ball.” Jordan said and showed him the invite. He looked down at the name and it rattled him to his core.    
“You know this man?” He asked.   
Jordan shook her head.    
“No I got dragged into this by Ruby.” Jordan lied. “It's just.. It's important we go. The dude is dying and wants everyone in town to show up for his last huzzah or what not.”    
“Since when do you give a damn about what people do in the town?” Killian questioned.    
“Please. Just do it for me? I promise it will be worth it. One you get to see something no man has seen before.”    
“And that is?” Killian asked.    
“Me in a dress.” Jordan smirked.    
“Well, I might be okay with that, what else you got?” Killian asked and ran his tongue over the back of his teeth.    
“Two, As soon as we leave, you can take the dress off.” Jordan grinned.    
“And?” Killian asked.    
“What more do you want from me?” Jordan whined. Killian leaned in and whispered something in her ear and pulled away just in time to see a rare sight. Jordan’s face turned crimson.    
“..D..Deal.” She stammered.    
“Good.” Killian smiled.    
  
\-----------------------------------------------------------   
  
Jordan looked at herself in the mirror in her room and sighed. She wished she could tell Killian the real reason she wanted to go to this thing, but she didn’t want him to know who she truly was. Not yet.    
She looked at the black dress that came just above her knees.     
“I look like a bloody idiot..” She mumbled Killian came up behind her dressed in a tuxedo    
“You look ravishing my love.”    
“The invite says formal and classy..”  Jordan said.    
“And naturally you did not follow the rules, who bloody cares you look fantastic.”  She smiled at him and held up her necklace.    
“Hold my hair?” She asked Killian brushed her dark brown hair that she had curled off the back of her neck while she clasped the necklace. Killian looked in the mirror at the Lions head Pendant. Something was very familiar about this pendant. He reached around and held it in his hand and the image of him tearing it off someone else’s neck popped into his mind. He shuddered and let go of the pendant.    
“W..where did you get this?” He asked.    
“It was just something I found while I was out, Its costume jewelry…” Jordan lied.    
Killian knew better. He knew that this was no piece of costume jewelry, he was a pirate, he knew treasure when he saw it but he didn’t want to start a fight, something about this night meant more to Jordan than she was letting on so he would let her have it.    
  
\---------------------------------------------------------------   
  
The ballroom was dark with nothing but candles lighting the room. Jordan stuck out like a sorethumb in her short dress and studded converse sneakers and there was nearly no point in Killian hiding his identity with a mask because he was the only one with a Hook for a hand, but Jordan told him she liked the mask so he wore it anyways. Jordan stood away from the dance floor as people swayed around to the music. Killian walked over after leaving to get another drink for Jordan.    
“Love if you keep this up you’ll be three sheets to the wind before the old bastard makes his speech.” Killian said.    
“Mmhm.” Jordan said and took the drink throwing it back and tossing the plastic cup in the trash Killian couldn’t remember a time that he had ever seen her so wound up. She was usually pretty calm natured.    
“Alright. Come on.” He said and extended his hand.    
“What?” Jordan asked.    
“You didn’t think you’d drag me to this bloody thing and not dance with me did you?”    
“I..don’t dance.” Jordan shook her head.    
“Tonight, you do.” Killian smirked and took her hand pulling her along with him.    
“Killian..” Jordan whined.    
“Just be quiet and follow along.” Killian said and put his hand around her waist. She held onto his Hook as he swayed with her. The tempo of the music picked up and the dancing got faster and with all the spinning, and the three drinks that Jordan had previously had she was getting dizzy. Someone bumped into the two of them and Jordan fell backwards She looked up trying to find Killian but she was surrounded by other dancers and she was currently seeing three of everything. She saw a hand reach down in front of her and she grabbed it. She was hoisted back to her feet.    
“Killian.. I don’t feel so good.” She mumbled. “Maybe we should sit down.” But Killian was quiet. He swayed her around on the floor, backing her up towards the entrance of the ballroom. Once they were out of the ballroom she was pressed against the wall.    
“A bit early to be cashing in on our deal don’t you think love?” She asked with a smirk and then bit her lip as she felt tender kisses up her neck. But something wasn’t right. The kisses were  _ too  _ tender. His lips found hers and she knew at that moment, this was not Killian.    
“What the bloody fuck are you doing?!” She heard Killian’s voice booming. She pushed whoever was kissing her away from her and pulled her mask off. Killian saw the look of pure confusion in her eyes as she looked back and forth between both men. They were dressed identical and damn near looked exactly the same except one of them didn’t have the Hook, which Jordan would have realized earlier on if she hadn’t had a bit to drink. Killian growled and held the other man to the wall with his forearm and pulled his mask of. The look of confusion in Jordan’s eyes was replaced with a look of hurt.    
“Ben?” She asked. “..Why.. why would you do this?” She asked. Ben was quiet.    
“Answer her!” Killian growled at his son. Who still refused to answer.    
“I expected better from you.” Killian said and moved away from him and put his arm around Jordan’s shoulders.    
“Are you okay darling? Come on lets sit down perhaps all that spinning was a bad idea.” He sighed.    
Jordan nodded and looked over her shoulder at Ben glaring at him.    
“You expected better of me? Have you looked in the bloody mirror?” Ben finally spoke.    
“I have changed Ben, believe it or not, people are capable of it!” Killian barked.    
“But that doesn’t change what you did,Maybe tell Jordan what  __ you  used to do to women before becoming this good man you claim to be now?”    
“He was a fucking pirate, I think I can fill in the blanks Ben. What the bloody hell is wrong with you?! How could you do that to me?!”    
“You don’t know what hes done.” Ben scoffed.    
“I care about who he is now. Not what he has done! You however have gone in the opposite direction, you used to be a good guy.”    
“You are foolish if you think he’s changed.” Ben replied.    
“Your mother would be absolutely sickened with you Benjamin.” Killian said and shook his head. “Come on love.” He said and pulled Jordan away.    
  
\---------------------------------------------   
  
“You are sure you don’t want to go home love?” Killian asked. “You seem shaken.”    
“I’m fine.. I need to stay here..” She said and sipped at her water and looked up at him.    
“I’m really sorry. I was knocked down, and a bit squiffy he looks just like you. I should have known.” She frowned.    
“Hey..its okay. I’m not angry with you. I’m angry with him. I have tried and tried to get him to see that I’ve changed but he refuses to. He’s trying to hurt me, and you are caught in the crossfire and I’m sorry for that.” Killian sighed.    
“I’ll survive..” Jordan shrugged. “What can I say? the Jones men find me irresistible.” She smirked.    
The lights in the ballroom came on and Jordan watched as her father took the stage to make his toast. Killian felt her tense beside him. She had obviously lied to him when she said she didn’t know him.    
“I just wanted to take this time to thank each and everyone of you for attending tonight and making this night something truly special for me. However one guest among you, makes this night extra special and I think its finally time, she makes herself known.”    
“You..bloody bastard..” Jordan mumbled.    
“What is it love?”    
“We need to go. Now.” Jordan said and stood up and grabbed Killians hand.     
“My daughter, after many years of not speaking with me, agreed to come tonight, many of you know her as someone different but she will always be my Maebh.” A spotlight shined down on her and Killian as she was trying to lead him out.    
“There you are darling, don’t be shy.” Her father smiled. “Come on up here.”    
Killian looked down at Jordan with his eyes widened. Her eyes scanned the room at everyone staring at her now including Ben who looked like he would be sick.    
“Come on Maebh.” Her father said waving her up. Jordan swallowed thickly and let go of Killian’s hand giving him an apologetic look before slowly making her way up to the stage standing next to her father.    
“Let me be the first to formally introduce to you all,  Maebh Tate, Princess of Adaerith.” 


	6. Sins of The Father

There was awkward clapping and whispering amongst the party goers as Jordan stood up next to her father. The whole town knew her secret. Most importantly Killian knew. Her eyes scanned to the back of the room where Killian was leaving. Her heart dropped. She watched as her father walked off of the platform and she stormed after him.    
“What the bloody hell was that?!” She hissed at him.    
“What was what?” Jacob asked.    
“I told you, I didn’t want them knowing who I am! You lied to me!”    
“And you, are following in your sister's footsteps and getting caught up with pirates.”    
“I don’t even know what you are talking about! I didn’t know Lenna! You made sure I’d never get to when you exiled her.” Jordan shouted.    
Jacob frowned and cocked his head to the side. “Where is Lenna’s necklace? you said you’d wear it.”    
Jordan felt around her neck. “I was wearing it, earlier it must have fallen off when I was dancing.. Don’t change the subject. Why did you lie to me?”    
Jacob sighed. “It was selfish. I just wanted people to know who you are I want you to be proud of who you are. You are a Tate.”    
“These people don’t give a bloody damn who I am! And if you wanted me to be proud of who I am you shouldn’t have been the horrible person you were.” Jordan scoffed. “Did you even have the potion to reverse what you did to me?” She asked.    
“I do. I kept my word on that Maebh. Its mixed in here.” he said as he pulled a glass with a pink liquid inside of it off of the table. Jordan looked at it skeptically.    
“Please. Trust me this once. I know I haven’t given you reason to but this is really what I say it is. I should have never taken this from you.  Please before I go let me do this one thing for you.”    
Jordan sighed and took the glass.    
“Mae.. I need to talk to you.” Ben said as he came over.   
“Yeah. Not now Ben. Not ever actually..you can leave.” Jordan glared.    
“Ma-Jordan. Please. It's important.” Ben said.    
“Piss off.” Jordan scoffed and raised the glass to her lips.    
“Don’t!” Ben shouted and slapped the glass away Jordan watched in horror as it shattered to pieces on the floor.    
“Ben!” She screamed and knelt down watching the pink sparkling liquid spread all over the floor.    
“I saw him put something in it!” Ben accused and glared at Jacob. Jordan let out a choked sob.    
“You have no idea what you’ve done.” Jacob growled at him.    
“Jordan.. I swear I saw him put something in there.” Ben defended himself.    
“I know he did!” She spat at him and looked up at him with tears running down her face. “He wasn’t trying to poison me!” She stood up. “I am so fucking tired of you trying to save me! You have no idea what you have just done!” She screamed at him. “That was the only chance I had..at ever being able to have children.”    
“Mae..I..I didn’t know. I was just try-”    
“Do yourself a favor and stop trying to be a hero.” Jordan said and stormed away from him.    
  
Jordan walked out of the banquet hall, and outside. Killian was sitting on a bench with his bottle of rum. Jordan sighed and approached the bench and sat down next to him.    
“What a bloody shit show that was yea?” She offered.    
“Aye.” He nodded keeping his eyes down.    
“Killian, I wanted to tell you. I did, I just couldn’t figure out how.” Jordan said and placed her hand on top of his. He pulled his hand away.    
“Don’t.” He mumbled    
“I’m sorry, I thought if you knew I was a princess, you’d just see me as this fragile, weak little thing and I’m not.”    
“You being a princess has nothing to do with my feelings for you Jordan. I know you aren’t weak.”    
“Then what is wrong?” Jordan asked as Killian stood up.    
“I just need some time. Please.” Killian said and put his hand out for her to stay back. Jordan cocked her head to the side, confused by the terrified look in his cerulean eyes.    
“Killian..” Jordan said and stepped forward    
“Stay away from me.” Killian said backing away. “Just..stay away. Please.” He said turning on his heels and hesitating for a moment before he started walking away.    
  
  
Jacob Tate returned home that evening to his front door ajar. He pushed the door open slowly and stepped inside to see a hooded figure going through his things.    
“Can I help you find something?” He asked. The hooded figure turned and pulled his hood down. Jacob recognized the man from the party, the one who knocked the glass from his daughters hands. There was something else familiar about the man but he couldn’t place it.    
“Is this truly all you have left of her?” Ben asked holding up the Lion pendant.    
“Where did you get that?” Jacob asked.    
“What have you done with all of her things?” Ben asked.    
“Did you know Lenna?” Jacob asked cautiously stepping forward.    
“Did I know her?” Ben scoffed. “I’m her son!” He shouted losing his temper. It was clear he had been drinking as he staggered forward. “How could you do what you did? To your own daughter. Sentence her to death, because of what? Me?”    
“There isn’t a day, that has gone by that I don’t feel remorse for that.”    
“And what you did to Mae.. How do you live with yourself?” Ben spat.    
“Why don’t you sit down? We can talk. What is your name? I’m willing to bet my daughter did not name you after me.”    
“My name is Benjamin and I will not be sitting down. I do not want to talk to you. I want everything you have of my mothers you don’t deserve it.”    
“You are holding the only thing I have and I had to hunt that down in Mr. Gold’s shop. He may have some things of hers. Once she left, I got rid of her things to keep Maebh from asking questions.” Jacob sighed.    
“You..you just got rid of her things? Like she was nothing? You erased her!”    
“Benjamin, please sit. We have much to talk about, I wont be around much longer, but there are things I’d like you to have.”    
“You don’t own anything I would ever want.” Ben said stepping forward. “You are a horrible excuse for a father, perhaps worse than my own.”    
“Does Maebh know what that man has done?” Jacob asked. Ben shook his head.    
“I don’t think she’d care if she did. She didn’t know my mother. You made sure of that.” Ben sneered.    
“I loved my daughters, both of them.” Jacob said. “I did things the way I thought was best for them.”    
“Best for them? Execution was best for my mother? Making sure Mae couldn’t have children was best for her?”    
“At the time, I th-”    
“You thought wrong.” Ben glared and pulled a knife from his pocket flipping it open.    
“Ah, so you are here to kill me then.” Jacob said.    
“Aye.” Ben nodded. “For them.”    
“If you think thats what they would want. Then by all means. I am ready to go.” Jacob challenged him. Ben closed the distance between the two of them and plunged the knife into Jacobs abdomen. Taking him by surprise.    
“Did you honestly think that those words would have stopped me? Do you know how many times I hear, that my mother would have hated what I have become?” Ben Hissed and twisted the knife. “Shes dead!  I’ll never see her again, She’ll never know what I’ve become, and I am going to kill every last person who wronged her.” Ben growled and pulled the blade from him and stabbed him again, and again before shoving him to the floor to die in a pool of his own blood. He knelt down and wrapped the lion pendant necklace around his grandfather's fingers before standing up and leaving.    
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------   
  
It had been a sleepless night for Jordan. Several times she had rolled over to drape her arm over Killian, only to remember he wasn’t there. It was a crushing feeling, and every time she closed her eyes she saw the look of fear in his. Why did he look so afraid of her? The first signs of dawn were peeking through the window when the pounding on her door began. She threw her pillow over her head trying to ignore it but it was persistent.    
“Bloody hell.” She groaned and got up and walked over to the door turning the lock, she twisted the knob and pulled the door open squinting at the sunlight as Emma and David came into view.    
“What do you want?” She asked. “Come to gloat?”    
“No.. Jordan, something happened last night.” David said. “We’re going to need you to come down to the station.”    
“What for?” Jordan asked. Emma held up an evidence bag with a bloody lions pendant in it.    
“Your father was stabbed to death last night in his home. We have reason to believe that you were involved.”    


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I have decided that after I finish this Fic, I will be leaving Ao3 and going back to only publishing on Wattpad, (Same username as here: LlamaLoyd follow me if you want I have like 15 stories on there XD) 
> 
> I am leaving Stowaway and Revenge up, but I will have no new content published on here once this Fic is finished. If you have also read my Fic, Misbehaved you will know this. You'll also know that I have discontinued that Fic and it will be taken down once this Chapter is published. 
> 
> I don't know how long this story will be, but Updates will be slow, I work a full time job now so I don't have as much time as I'd like to write. But I do have some things planned for this story that I am incredibly excited for, and I hope you guys will be too. I know right now, this isn't nearly as good as Stowaway but I promise it will get better!


	7. Innocent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jordan is framed for the murder of her father and reveals much about her past to David.   
> Ruby helps David prove her innocence.   
> Killian and Jordan make up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry its been so long since the last update. My life has just kind of been a whirlwind, if you don't follow my wattpad or tumblr (https://llamaloydwp.tumblr.com/) you wouldn't know. Basically we learned my husband who has been in pain since Jan. of this year, with no answers, will have this pain for the rest of his life and its just been soul crushing, that on top of work has just made it difficult for me to update. but this chapter is longer than all the others, and it sets up for a very intense (and Dark ;) ) next chapter. I hope you all like it, let me know in the comments so I don't think I suck lol!

Jordan was exhausted in all senses of the word, she hadn’t slept the night before, and she was now going on hour 6 of being held, and questioned at Storybrookes Sheriff's station about the murder of her father.    
“I’m telling you, Swan I was not there!” Jordan groaned and put her head in her hands and looked at David. “You know she’s only kept me here this long, because she’s still bloody pissed off about Killian This isn’t a matter of me being a suspect, this is a matter of jealousy.” Jordan suggested. Emma scoffed in response. David sighed realizing this investigation would get nowhere if he didn’t step in.     
“Why don’t you take a break, and I’ll take over.”    
“Why? Her necklace was at the crime scene. We know she was there.” Emma said.    
“Emma, just listen to me take a break. Go get some coffee.”    
“Fine, but I’ll be back.” Emma said and looked at Jordan.    
“I’m shaking, really.” Jordan snorted as Emma walked away. Jordan turned to David.    
“You know, I didn’t do this.” She said.    
“Actually, Jordan.. I don’t. We hardly know anything about you. You’re reclusive, and then come to find out you’re a Tate. Why keep it a secret?”    
“Because, my father and I had a falling out, I forsake the name Tate, and my title.”    
“So it wouldn’t be wrong to assume that you were upset with him for what he did last night?” David asked.    
“Upset? I was bloody pissed off. He promised me he wouldn’t. I should have known better than to even show up but he's my father, and He's the furthest thing from my favorite person, but he’s the only one I have...well..had.” Jordan sighed. “He told me he was dying, and all he wanted was for me to go to the stupid benefit ball. So I went.”    
“What did you do after you left?” David asked.    
“I went outside, and talked with Killian for a bit, that didn’t go well so I went back to my room at Granny’s where I stayed until you and Emma showed up at an ungodly hour in the morning. I may have hated the man, but I didn’t kill him. I lost my necklace at the party, so whoever took it killed my father and is framing me.”    
“Who would want to kill him?” David asked.    
“I don’t know.” Jordan sighed and put her head in her hands. “Please just let me go, I’ve done nothing wrong.”    
“I want to believe you Jordan.”    
“No you don’t. You don’t know me, you don’t care about me. You’d be just as happy to see me behind bars as Emma would be.”    
“That's not true, I don’t know you, that much is true but you’ve never given anyone but Killian a chance to know you, and obviously he didn’t even know who you really are.” David stated.    
“Killian knows exactly who I am. He just didn’t know who I was.”    
“Who were you?” David asked. “After you left your kingdom?”    
“I went by Mae Sterling. I was a bandit..at first, but I tried to steal from The Evil Queen. I killed two of her men by sneaking up on them..and well I’ll leave out the gorey details but The queen used her magic to freeze me in place. I thought she’d kill me. But she saw I had a talent she wanted to use. She knew who I was, truly. And she told me, if I did what she wanted she would give me what I wanted most.”    
“And that was?” David asked.    
“To find my sister.” Jordan replied.    
“What did Regina want you to do?”    
“She had a list, a list of people she wanted dead but she couldn’t be bothered to do it herself. She was focused on Snow white.”    
“So you were an assassin..hired by the evil queen?” David asked.    
“Aye.” Jordan sighed.    
“Did you kill people Jordan?”    
“I did what I did for my family. Specifically, for Lenna. It wasn’t something I enjoyed but I wanted to find her but the more people I killed the longer the list got, and I just couldn’t do it anymore.” Jordan said her eyes grew distant as she remembered  her old life. As you can imagine, Queenie wasn’t too happy about me breaking our deal and I soon found myself on the run.”    
“You realize how this all sounds?” David asked.    
“I’d imagine it makes me sound incredibly guilty but I swear to you I did not kill him.” Jordan said firmly.    
“Can you give me a name, of anyone else who would have wanted him dead?” David asked. Jordan was exhausted beyond belief, it didn’t even occur to her at the moment that she knew someone who might have wanted to kill her father. She shook her head.    
“I can’t. I don’t know David. He wasn’t a good man. He sent my sister away before I could even know her because she was pregnant, and to make sure I didn’t follow in her footsteps on my 17th birthday he slipped an infertility potion into my drink and even that, while it made me hate him, It didn’t make me want to kill him.. Please I haven’t given you any reason to believe it wasn’t me..but i’m telling you I didn’t do this.”   
“The evidence points at you Jordan. If I have no other leads.. I don’t have a choice.”    
“So what are you going to do David? You’re going to arrest me?”    
“Think of it more as.. Protecting you until I find out what is going on here.”    
“What would I need you to protect me from?” Jordan scoffed.    
“The angry people in town who were eager to point the finger at you in the first place.” David sighed.    
“Oh, like your daughter.” Jordan rolled her eyes.    
“Look, the people are scared. The nature of this murder...was incredibly violent. Just work with me Jordy and I’ll get you out of here as soon as I can but you are safer in here, than you are out there.”    
“Can I at least see him?” Jordan asked. “Can I see my father?”    
“I’ll see what I can do.” David nodded and stood up. “Come on.”    
Jordan stood and followed him to a holding cell. He opened the door and she stepped in.    
“What am I supposed to do, while you go about your investigation?” She asked. David closed the door and locked it.    
“Just sit tight, are you hungry?”    
“No..” Jordan sighed and plopped down on the rather uncomfortable cot in the cell.    
“Okay, I’ll be back. We’re going to search your room at Granny’s. Is there anything I should know about?”    
“Well, there's a bottle of jameson I borrowed from Granny’s bar beside the bed.” Jordan shrugged.   
“You stole from Grannys?” David asked and crossed his arms over his chest.    
“Borrowed. I was bringing it back… eventually.” Jordan argued.    
David sighed and shook his head before walking out of the station.    
\--------------------------------------------------------------------   
Killian walked into Grannys that afternoon, having been on his ship all night and most of the day, he was oblivious to what was happening. After some thinking, he knew he didn’t want to leave Jordan. He couldn’t, just spending the night away from her was hard enough, the only thing that troubled him was how he was going to tell her about Lenna. She never cared before about his dark past. But he knew how much finding her sister meant, and to her knowledge, her sister was still alive and out there and how dark, was too dark for Jordan? Could she live with him, knowing the horrible things he did to Lenna?    
Killian approached the counter to pick up his order for Jordan and was met by Emma.    
“Swan.” He sighed.    
“Hook.”    
“Is there something you needed? I’ve got to pick up lunch for Jordan and take it to her.”    
Emma raised a brow.    
“You haven’t heard?” She asked.    
“I’ve been on my ship all bloody night, and half of the day, heard what?” Killian asked.    
“Jacob Tate was murdered last night, Jordan’s been arrested for his murder.”    
“What?” Killian asked in disbelief and shook his head. “Jordan wouldn’t have. She’s an odd one but she’s not a murderer, Swan.”    
“Her necklace was there wrapped in Jacobs hand like he pulled it off of her in a struggle.” Emma said.    
“I’m telling you Emma, she didn’t kill him..”    
“Who else would have? They were seen arguing after he told everyone who she was.”    
“There is one other person you can look into.” Killian said.    
“Who?” Emma asked.    
“His name is Benjamin I don’t know what last name he uses here I wouldn’t put it past him to do this.”    
“Well what does this Benjamin look like?” Emma asked skeptically.    
“Like me but less handsome.” Killian smirked. “He’s my son.”    
“You have a son?” Emma asked in disbelief.    
“Aye.” Killian nodded. “He’s not a fan of mine, and he’d do this, and frame Jordy to hurt me.”    
“You would throw your own son under the bus to protect your girlfriend?”   
“I’m doing the right thing Emma, I know Jordy didn’t do this.”    
“Are you sure?” Emma asked. “David called me, before he left the station to start searching Jordan’s room. Did you know Jordan was an assassin hired by Regina after she left her kingdom?”    
“No, I didn’t. I was a villainous pirate, and you don’t see me running around pillaging and plundering the town, do you? Jordan didn’t kill her father. You won’t convince me otherwise, I’m sure you enjoy the idea that she is behind bars, were you trying to prove something to me Swan? I used to think you were damn good at your job but using your job, to throw someone you don’t like in the brig, because you don’t like them, is a bit low for the savior don’t you think?” Killian scoffed and walked away from her.    
  
David was halfway through with his search of Jordan’s room, when there was a tap on the door. He turned and looked at Ruby standing in the doorway.    
“Hey Ruby.” He smiled.    
“Hey.” She replied. “Can I come in? Or..is this a crime scene?” She asked.    
“It would be a crime scene if I could find one thing that was incriminating, but I can’t.” David shrugged. “Besides this.” He chuckled and held up the bottle of Jameson.    
“She likes the Jameson.” Ruby smirked. “She brings it back, or she eventually just leaves money by the register.” Ruby shrugged.    
David grinned.    
“You don’t think she did this do you?” Ruby asked.    
David sighed. “I don’t know what to think.”    
“What if I told you, I know for a fact she didn’t leave last night?” Ruby asked.    
“How do you know?” David asked.    
“Well, I knew that last night must have been overwhelming for her, not only did her father drop that huge bombshell, Killian seemed upset with her, I heard them talking. So I kept an eye on her, I know when she’s upset, she drinks and when she drinks she does really stupid things. I kept an eye on her room off and on all night she didn’t leave. She didn’t even drink.”    
“Well, its an alibi but you know most of the town has already pinned this on her and you know that they can be hard to convince.”    
“That may be true, but they all know that my wolf senses are accurate. Take me to Jacobs house. I can tell you for sure if she was there or not.”    
David smiled.    
“You know, she’s convinced that no one in this town besides Killian cares about her?” He asked.    
“I figured. But she’s also stubborn and prideful and very hesitant to accept friendship from anyone so I care, but I do it discreetly.” Ruby winked.   
  
\----------------------------------------------   
  
Jordan couldn’t take it anymore it had been hours, and she knew that somehow they would come back with evidence to damn her. She had to get out of here. She had to leave. She pulled a bobby pin out of her hair and fidgeted with it and moved her hand between the bars and to the lock on the door. She pushed the bobby in the lock and tried to wiggle it around but it wasn’t working, she went to adjust it just a little and it fell out of her hand she bent down to get it but it was just out of her reach.    
“Gods damnit!” She grumbled and kicked the door. Someone had entered the station, unknown to her at that moment, until she heard them clear their throat. She looked up and saw Killian strolling over to the cell, he raised his hook and smiled at her.    
“Need a Hook?” He asked.    
“What are you doing here?” Jordan asked surprised.    
“I’m springing you from the brig, love.” Killian said and picked the lock on the cell with his Hook and pulled the door open. Jordan hesitated, bowing her head.    
“I thought you didn’t want to be near me..” She said softly.    
Killian wrapped his arms around her pulling her to him.    
“I never should have said it love. I’m sorry.”    
“I’m sorry I never told you.” Jordan said    
“Its okay love. Lets not worry about that. Let's just get you out of here.”    
“I didn’t do it Killian.”    
“I Know that, I tried to lead Emma in Ben’s direction but I fear he’s left town, and without anyone else to blame..” He sighed. “Just come on we haven’t got much time.” Killian said and pulled her with him out the door.    
“Where are we going?”    
“Sailing.” Killian smiled down at her.    
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------   
  
Ruby walked around Jacob’s house shaking her head. “I don’t know who was here, but it wasn’t Jordan.” She said. “It wasn’t even another female. The scent is Male. Smells..oceany.” Ruby said and sighed.    
“Killian?” David asked.    
“Not Killian, but similar. Its not someone I’ve come into contact with before here.” Ruby said as she continued through the house.    
Emma walked into the house with something in her hands.    
“Where have you been?” David asked.    
“I saw Killian at Granny’s and he told me about this guy, Benjamin who is also his son. He said he might have been the one to do this. So I did some digging and found where this Benjamin has been staying and broke in. I think he’s left town there was very little left behind but I did find this.” Emma said and held up a scarf. Emma took the scarf from her and sniffed it.    
“Its him. He was here.” Ruby confirmed.    
Emma sighed. “Killian was right..”    
“Jordan didn’t do it.” David agreed.    
  
The three of them hurried back to the station to let Jordan out of the cell. Emma even had an apology prepared on the way. But once they got in the station they found the holding cell open and empty, and there was no sign of Jordan.    
“Are you picking anything up?” David asked Ruby.    
Ruby sniffed around the station.    
“Killian was here.”    
“Of course he was.” Emma sighed.    
“Alright, I’m going to check the docks, Ruby you check back at the B&B, Emma, you check around everywhere else you can think of.”    
“We know she didn’t do it, She’s probably off with Killian..doing things I’d rather not walk in on.” Emma said.    
“But she still deserves to know, we know shes not guilty Em.”    
Emma sighed, he was right.    
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------   
  
Killian entered the Captains Quarters to check on Jordan, who was relaxing in the large copper tub. He smiled and crept up behind her and crouched down and kissed her neck. She shivered and reached up to tangle her fingers in his dark hair. Killian cupped her right breast in his hand  and brushed his thumb over her nipple. She arched into his touch and bit her lip.    
“Why don’t you join me Captain?” She asked.   
“I don’t know love, you seem exhausted, I don’t know if you could handle me, until you rest.” His lips curved into a smirk against her neck.    
“I will be fine.” Jordan whined.    
“You have absolutely no patience my love.” Killian chuckled.    
“Come on take a break from the helm.” She said giving him a sly smile.    
“Already planned on it.” Killian winked. “Are you done with your bath?”    
Jordan nodded. Killian moved so she could stand, she stood and he helped her out of the tub and he wrapped a towel around her so she could dry off while he began removing his clothing. He turned back to Jordan as she had her back to him and dropped the towel. His eyes widened at the welts and scars all over her back. She turned and looked at him over her shoulder and it was like for a second he was staring at Lenna. He blinked a couple of times, and Jordan was back looking at him confused.    
“Whats wrong Killian?” She asked. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”    
“No..no I’m fine love.” Killian smiled    
“Good.” Jordan smirked and walked over to him pushing his unbuttoned shirt off of his shoulders. He shrugged out of it and tossed it to the floor as Jordan worked on his Jeans. She pushed his now unbuttoned pants off his hips and he finished the job for her kicking them off and to the side before grinning and taking her down to the bed. Jordan giggled as the two of them rolled around on the bed struggling for dominance. He dipped his hand between her legs and shuddered.    
“Bloody hell love I’ve hardly touched you.”    
“I can’t help it, you just do things to me Jones.” Jordan grinned and rolled him on his back.   
“Someone is forgetting the rules.” Killian mumbled and flipped her onto her back pinning her down.    
“My ship, my Bed, my Jordan.” He growled into her neck as he thrust his hips forward sliding home. Jordan gasped and raked her fingernails over his back.    
“Gods..I missed you Captain.”    
Killian looked up to meet her eyes only to see that her fiery eyes had turned amber, and her hair was lighter and braided at the side.    
_ Lenna.  _ __   
“Didn’t you miss me?” She asked with a pout. Killian blinked and shook his head and Jordan was back. What witchcraft was this?    
“Hey.. are you okay?” Jordan asked and touched his face. Killian grabbed her hand and pinned it above her head not saying a word. Jordan bit her lip and smiled at him. He moved his hand into her hair and tangled his fist into it tugging as he thrust harder into her. Jordan didn’t mind it so much, she liked playing rough, but usually she knew exactly what she did to provoke this side of him, this time she had no idea. Her eyes rolled back as he drove into her. She felt her stomach knot up and she started cursing under her breath as she felt herself clenching around him.    
“Don’t get quiet on me now princess.” Killian grunted. Jordan didn’t care for the pet name at all, but the roughness in his voice and the way he tugged her hair sent her falling over the edge screaming. She felt Killian spill himself inside of her and she pulled him close, never wanting to be without him again. Her body trembled in the aftershocks as he collapsed on her placing sloppy kisses all over her jaw line.    
“I didn’t hurt you did I?” He mumbled.    
“Mmm No, maybe don’t call me princess though.” She smirked. Killian raised an eyebrow he didn’t even remember calling her that. He rolled to the side of her, his chest heaving. Jordan smiled and put her head on his chest and yawned.    
“I feel like I could sleep for a week.”    
“You really should rest love. I’m going to get back to sailing.”    
“But I sleep better when you are here.” Jordan pouted.    
“I’ll only be right out there Jordy.” Killian smiled and sat up and searched the room for his clothes.    
“Okay, I suppose.” Jordan yawned. “But only because i’m too bloody tired to argue.”    
“Thats a first.” Killian grinned and leaned in and kissed her on the forehead.    
“Sleep darling.”    
“Mmhm.” She  mumbled and pulled the blankets up to her chin. Killian watched her doze off before he finished dressing and stepped out into the crisp night air trying to clear his head, both of them were unaware that while Killian’s nightmares of Lenna returned, Jordans nightmare was only beginning. 


	8. Roll call

I've kind of lost motivation for this story as I don't really feel like people are interested anymore.   
So if you are still here with me, and interested in the story Leave a comment.   
I know for a fact that one person is, but I can just write chapters and send them directly to that person whenever I get inspired to write in this story again.   
Basically I just want to know if I should bother continuing the story on here, I don't really want to waste time writing it and publishing it when no one is reading when I can focus on the stories I'm writing that I know people are reading.   
It was never meant to be as dark as Stowaway was to begin with and I'm sorry if I've left people disappointed.   
Stowaway was an experiment to expand my writing style I didn't expect it to get the response it did and I'm thankful for those readers who left kudos and comments. It meant a lot.   
So leave me a comment if you want me to continue I know it hasn't had a lot of the dark elements that people loved in Stowaway yet, but I was getting there.   
<3 LlamaLoyd 


	9. Cherry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something is terribly wrong with Killian.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, guys I'm glad to have gotten so many comments to continue the story. I didn't think anyone was reading anymore! Thank you all so much!   
> This chapter brings back the dark elements from Stowaway that you guys loved and its a bit longer than my other chapters.   
> I hope you enjoy! Please let me know what you think in the comments! Your comments help to let me know you are still interested in the story!

It was the second night of being on the open sea, they weren’t terribly far from Storybrooke Jordan could still see the lights from the town in the far distance but they were far enough away to give both of them the much needed break from the town.    
Killian found Jordan sitting up on the railing watching the waves Once she looked over and saw he was there she quickly wiped her eyes trying to get rid of any evidence that she had been crying.    
“No use in that darling I know the difference between actual tears and allergies.” He said. Jordan cursed under her breath wondering how he’d know that was the excuse she’d use. He put his hand and hook on each side of her and rested his chin on her shoulder watching the waves with her.    
“Why would Ben kill him?” She asked. “How does that hurt you?”    
“I don’t even begin to tell you how that boys mind works, but long story short I believe he found the easiest way to hurt me, is by hurting you.”    
“I hated him so much my whole life I didn’t expect to actually be upset when he died.” Jordan mumbled.    
“And perhaps if he would have died of natural causes, you wouldn’t have been upset like this.” Killian suggested. “That and the whole town was so quick to point the finger at you.”    
“I don’t give a damn about them.” Jordan scoffed but Killian could tell that it did bother her at least a little.    
“He had the cure.. To reverse the potion. I held it in my hands and Ben thought he was trying to poison me and knocked it out of my hands..” Jordan sighed. “He was trying.”    
“Do you know for a fact that it was indeed the cure?” Killian asked.    
Jordan nodded. “There was a different look in his eyes. As you might have heard, I was an assassin for the queen, I know when people are trying to kill me. They have tells. Do you know how many times someone has tried to poison me?” Jordan asked.    
“Do you?” Killian asked.    
“I’ve counted as many as 30 people. I was not a likable person back home. So generally I guess I am not a likable person here.”    
“I’m quite fond of you Jordy.”    
Jordan lifted herself off of the railing and hopped down. Killian noticed for the first time perhaps how strong, and agile she actually was. For someone who lived off of nothing but junk food it was impressive.    
“You’re the only one who matters anything to me now Killian.” She said and wrapped her arms around him pressing her head to his chest. Killian smiled and pressed a kiss to the top of her head inhaling the scent of her hair that smelled like vanilla and spice. Jordan looked up at him, his eyes looked tired. She knew he hadn’t really slept well the past two nights.    
“Wanna call it an early night Captain?” She asked.    
“Perhaps, I don’t know if I am quite done with you for the evening.” He grinned.    
“You need to sleep. You’ve been up every hour the past two nights.” Jordan said tapping him on the nose.    
“Are you giving  _ me _ orders on  _ my _ ship?” Killian asked raising an eyebrow at her.    
“I’m just saying that you need to rest.” Jordan sighed. “And if you want to call it giving you orders, then yes. I am.” She smiled. His blue eyes darkened and he pulled away from her circling her like a wolf on the hunt. His demeanor had changed. Jordan tried to keep herself from smirking, she knew he needed the rest but God did she love it when The Captain came out to play and he had come out to play quite a bit in these two days they had been on the ship.    
“What makes you think, you can start giving me orders?” He asked.    
“Killian I was just concer-” He cut her off by grabbing a fist full of her hair pulling her backwards against his chest.    
“You address me as Captain.” He snarled.    
Jordan swallowed thickly as her throat was going dry.   
“Yes, Captain.” She replied. He let go of her hair and smoothed it over gently with his hand    
“Good girl.” He purred in her ear. “Now, how can you make it up to me?” He asked.    
“However you’d like me to Captain.” Jordan turned and batted her eyelashes at him. A devilish grin spread across his face.    
“Strip.”    
Jordan looked around, there was no one around, they were out on the open sea, but it was cold out and it still felt strange.    
“O..out here?” She stumbled a bit on her words.    
“Aye.” Killian nodded and gestured her to get on with it.    
“Why don’t we just go in the room and we c-”    
Killian put his hook in the front of her hooded jacket and pulled her forward.    
“I. Said.  _ Strip _ .” He growled and released her. Jordan slowly took off her jacket and tossed it aside. She smirked at him and very slowly pulled her tee shirt up over her head making a show out of it. She unbuttoned her jeans and wiggled her hips as she pushed them down and stepped out of them. Killian stepped back looking her up and down. She was beautiful in her black lacy bra and matching panties and that bloody choker around her neck was giving him all sorts of sinful ideas. Jordan reached around to unhook her bra but her stopped her.    
“Leave those for now.” He said and grinned. “On your knees.”    
Jordan got down on her knees and crawled towards him until she was directly in front of the growing bulge in his pants.    
“Go on.” He instructed. Jordan reached up and unbuckled his belt and unbuttoned his pants. She leaned in and pulled the zipper down with her teeth. She hooked her fingers around the top of his jeans and pulled them down freeing him. Slowly she put her lips around him and took him into her mouth She heard him curse under his breath. She looked up at him as she bobbed her head up and down. He tangled his fingers in her hair and she relaxed to give him the control he wanted. He moved her head up and down faster and harder She gagged as he hit the back of her throat and tried to pull away but he tugged on her hair. His hook looped into the metal ring on her choker and held her still as he thrust his hips forward roughly. She moaned around him as he continued his brutal pace in her throat, his thrusting became sporadic and he shouted out something incoherent before he spilled himself in the back of her throat. Jordan went to pull away again but he held her still by her choker. He glared down at her and it was as if he wasn’t even looking at her anymore. His eyes were distant. She tried to breathe as best as she could through her nose but it was getting difficult She slapped at his thighs and tried to say something but it was muffled Finally he released her and she gasped for air.    
“Cherry!” She choked out. “Cherry!” She said again looking up at him panicked when he looked confused for a second and then it hit him all at once. Cherry was her safeword.    
“Oh. Fuck..” He sighed and crouched down to her.    
“I’m sorry darling, I got too carried away.” He said and held her close.    
“No. No.. I know I’m supposed to sign it when I can’t speak but I panicked. I couldn’t breathe.” She said still trying to catch her breath.    
“Are you hurt?” He asked. She shook her head.    
“No.” She said. “I’m sorry.” She frowned.    
“You have nothing to be sorry for, you were right, I am tired I should have gone to bed like you said.” He said and tucked her dark hair behind her ear. “Are you alright? Are you sure I didn’t hurt you?”    
“I’m sure.” Jordan smiled. Jordan was tough, and she could take a lot, and usually their games got a lot more intense than that when he really wanted to play but something was different about this time and she couldn’t figure out what. She shivered in his arms as a cold breeze blew over them. He stood and adjusted his pants and held his hand out to her. She took his hand and he helped her up holding her close as he led them into the Captains Quarters.    
“You stay in here and warm up, I’m going to make sure everything is clear on deck and I’ll be back.” He said and left the room. Jordan decided to make some tea for herself and Killian hoping that would relax him enough to actually sleep. She wasn’t sure what was going on with him, every time she tried to talk about it he changed the subject. She put on her black robe and started making the tea. She shuffled through the things on the counter and found a small glass bottle with white dust in it. She tilted the bottle and noticed that the dust had a pinkish sparkle to it. She knew what this was, she had used it before many times back home. It was poppy dust, or sleeping powder but why did he have it and then a thought crossed her mind. She opened the bottle and sprinkled a small amount of the dust into his tea and mixed it in. It was wrong perhaps but maybe he would actually sleep. She turned around as he came into the room and smiled at him before handing him the tea.    
“I made us some tea.” She said.    
“You didn’t have to do that, I should be making you tea after that..” He sighed. “I’m truly sorry Jordy I don’t know what happened.”    
“Killian its okay, We’ve gotten a lot more adventurous than that.” She winked. “It was my fault, I panicked.” She shrugged and sipped at her tea watching as he took a sip from his. He gave her an odd look and she thought for a moment he knew what she had done.    
“Something wrong?” She asked.    
“No, I just don’t think I’ve had this one yet. Which tea is it? Its sweet.” He said   
“Oh I just added a bit more honey to it than normal.” Jordan smiled. “Thats all.”    
“Well, it's good.” He grinned.    
  
It wasn’t long before the poppy dust did its job and Killian was fast asleep. Jordan now was wishing she had used some on herself as she was restless. She got out of bed carefully and put her jacket on before leaving the Captains quarters. She hadn’t really taken the time to explore Killian’s ship on her own. She walked across the ship and opened the hatch to the ships cargo hold and used her cellphone as a light until she found the pull cord to turn the lights on She walked down the creaky steps and looked around, there were barrels of rum, and chests spilling with jewels.    
“Whoa.” She muttered picking up a large red jewel and gazing at it. She looked down to the left and noticed a smaller chest She bent down and opened it and pulled out a set of shackles and grinned there was also a small leather flogger and a few other items. Her Captain was a man of interesting tastes. She would have to make sure to bring up her findings. Then she saw a Satchel tucked down behind one of the chests. She raised an eyebrow and pulled the satchel out and opened it. There was a small journal. She opened it and flipped through the pages there was only one entry.    
_  
Today I set out for an adventure of my own. Finally. I feel like I’ve been held prisoner here in my room for far too long. I’m so tired of these bloody walls.  _ _   
_ _ I know papa will be upset but since my step mother has just had a baby, perhaps he wont notice me missing for a while. He says that its a dangerous world out there but how am I supposed to know if I don’t experience it for myself. My mother left me this journal before she passed so now I want to use it to record my adventures. I plan to go to the docs and stowaway on a ship. I can’t wait to see the world..  _ _   
_ _ LT  _ _   
_ __   
Jordan put the diary down. Killian never mentioned a stowaway. Then again she never really asked. She dug into the satchel and found a few coins she opened her hand and looked at them and felt like her heart leapt into her throat. She knew this currency. This currency was from her homeland. Adaerith. She reached back into the satchel and pulled out a hair clip with a Lionshead on it. Her stomach turned. This satchel belonged to her sister. Killian knew her sister. She heard creaking on the steps and gasped trying to put everything back where she found it. She cursed herself thinking she should have put more poppy dust in his tea. He stood on the steps looking in the hold at her.    
“What are you doing?” He asked.    
“I. well.. I couldn’t sleep so I-”    
“You decided to slip me poppy dust and go through my things.” Killian finished for her and held out the small bottle of poppy dust.    
“For a trained assassin, you sure aren’t as sneaky as one would hope.” He snarled. There was a different look in his eyes as he approached her. It was dark, and it was dangerous. Jordan swallowed hard.    
“I.. I just wanted you to sleep.” She stammered. He grabbed her hair and pulled her to him. It actually hurt her. She yelped and kicked him in the knee. He howled in pain and released her and she staggered over herself to get up the steps. He caught her ankle and pulled her back and flipped her over using his left arm to pin her. He held the bottle of poppy dust in his hand and pulled the cork with his teeth spitting it out. He sprinkled the dust over her face while she lashed her head back and forth but it was no use. Her eyes grew heavy.    
“What am I going to do with you?” He hissed in her ear as she drifted off.    
  
When Jordan opened her eyes there was a dull throb in her head, the after effects of poppy dust were a bitch. As her senses began to wake up with the rest of her she became alarmingly aware of another sensation between her thighs She couldn’t stop the moan as it escaped her lips and she raised her head to see Killian’s dark hair between her legs. She went to thread her fingers through his hair but she couldn’t move her hands she looked up and realized she was shackled to the bed. Killian pulled his mouth away from her core looking up at her panting and writhing. He grinned.    
“Look who’s awake.”    
“Killian we need to ta-” He cut her off by slapping her inner thigh hard enough to where she cried out.    
“What do you call me?!” He demanded.    
“Captain!” She growled at him and pulled on her restraints. He placed himself between her legs. Kissing up her stomach, to her chest where he bit down. Jordan bit her lip to keep from making a noise. He kissed up her neck and hovered over her lips.    
“Such a naughty thing you did, going through my things.” He tsked.    
“I’m sorry.” Jordan said and arched into him as he pushed into her.    
“I really don’t think that you are.” He said. “But you will be.” She looked into his eyes, she was confused. He looked like her Killian. Her Captain, but there was just something wrong about him.    
“Killian I think we should go home now.” She said softly. His eyes darkened and he pulled out halfway and rammed back in. Jordan screamed in a mix of pleasure and pain.    
“Not. My. Name!” He growled punctuating each word with a sharp thrust. Jordan was already seeing stars. His hand went down to where they were joined and he rubbed at the swollen bundle of nerves feverishly in rhythm with his thrusts.  Jordan screwed her eyes shut as she just a bout tipped over the edge and then the sensation stopped. Her eyes shot open and she whined at the loss of friction.    
“Why did you stop?!” She demanded.    
“Because naughty little slaves do not get release.” Killian spat.    
“Slave? I am not a slave!” Jordan screeched at him. “What the bloody hell is the matter with you?!”    
Killian growled and unlocked her wrists. Jordan went to push him away but he flipped her onto her stomach. He slapped her hard on the ass and adjusted her so she was on her knees. He pressed the side of her face into the pillow and entered her again. Jordan’s moans were muffled by the pillow.He reached down with his hook pressing the cold metal to her oversensitive nub as he drove into her. He could feel her start to clench around him again and just like before he stopped everything and pulled away. Jordan screamed in frustration.    
“Please!” She nearly sobbed.    
“NO! You don’t deserve it!” Killian snarled at her.    
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry!” Jordan whined. “Please.” She sat up on her knees her legs trembled but she crawled towards him. She just wanted to touch him. She wanted to hold him. Whatever this was that was driving him to do this to her, she wanted him to know it was okay and they would get through it together but he pushed her away.    
“DO not touch me!” He hissed at her.    
“Killian! Please! I don’t want to play this game anymore. Cherry!” He was scaring the shit out of her now. He growled and slapped her hard across the face.    
“How many times do I have to tell you Lenna, You address me as Captain!” He shouted at her. Jordan held the side of her face with tears streaming out of her eyes.    
“Lenna?” She questioned. “Killian.. What.. did you do?” She asked. “What did you do to Lenna?!” She screamed now. Killian looked at her confused for a moment but shook his head.    
“If you insist on calling me by the wrong name.. I’m going to have to punish you.”    
Jordan fought against him twisting around as he chained her back to the bed on her stomach.    
“Killian please, Wake up!” She screamed. Killian picked up the flogger he had placed on the nightstand. Jordan was shaking now. He traced the flogger over her back.    
“Such beautiful skin Princess..” He said. “Its a shame I’ll have to ruin it.”    
“No! Please Killian don’t!” Jordan cried as he cracked the flogger down on her back She screamed in agony  as he hit her with it again and again, never in the same place, every now and then he’d hit the back of her legs. Jordan's tears soaked the pillow underneath her and she just kept repeating Cherry over and over again hoping like hell it would make him stop.    
It seemed like eternity before he stopped. He brushed the hair of the back of her neck and kissed.    
“Shhh..” He cooed at her. “Its done. Whats my name?” He asked.    
“C..captain.” Jordan stammered out.    
“Good girl.” Killian smiled and it was like he was back, but it wasn’t really him. He reached up and unshackled her. Jordan took a few minutes trying to convince herself she wasn’t in severe pain. She had done this before. Mind over matter. The burning pain turned to dull ache and she sat up switching into survivor mode. This wasn’t her Killian, but she had to get the hell out of here.    
“I’m so sorry Captain..” She said and crawled to her knees at his feet.    
Killian pulled her to her feet.    
“Get dressed.” He said without emotion  “You sleep on the deck tonight.”    
“Yes Captain.” She nodded. Is this what happened to her sister? Did Killian..do this to Lenna? Why? What did she do to him? Jordan quickly tried to get dressed again trying to ignore the amount of pain she was in. She was sure the flogger had drawn blood.    
“Stay here. I will go set up your corner.” He spat and walked out of the cabin.    
Jordan waited until she heard his footsteps before she jumped and latched onto the door frame. As he opened the door she swung her legs and planted her boots right in the middle of his chest knocking the wind out of him and sending him backwards. Killian gasped for air and staggered to his feet but Jordan was running. She climbed up to the side of the ship. It wasn’t a matter of if she would survive the swim back to storybrooke, she had to so she would.    
“I’m sorry Killian.” She said as he approached. She dove into the water. The water was frigid and shocked her at first and the salt stung her lashes like hell but she quickly recovered and started to swim.    
  
Jordan was exhausted by the time she almost reached the docks. Her body was giving up she could hardly move.    
“Hey! Hey! Theres someone in the water!” She heard a voice. It sounded like leroy. She tried to keep her eyes open and her body moving but her limbs just gave up and she sank. She felt strong arms around her waist and she was pulled from the water and onto the sand. Slipping in and out of consciousness she could hear voices all around her.    
“Who is it?” Leroy asked.    
“Its Jordan..” she heard david say before everything went black. 


	10. Demons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jordan deals with the aftermath of her hellish night on Killian's ship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update! I struggled with this chapter I kept getting stuck and then last night I went into this whirlwind of crazy coming up with a new twist to add to Jordan's back story and bring in another OUAT character that is one of my FAVORITES. This chapter is lacking compared to what I have in store for the next few chapters, they will be intense and dark >:] and I'm super excited that I finally figured out a way to add this other character in and I'm sorry I'm being cryptic but I am going to be writing the next chapter when I get off work tonight because I am that excited. so I hope you all are too.   
> **Disclaimer: I know nothing really about the medical field so if half of the medical crap in this chapter is inaccurate, blame google.   
> As always please remember to comment, even if its all caps and makes no sense, it helps to inspire me, and lets me know that people are reading! <3

Jordan was brought into the hospital wrapped in whatever blankets David happened to have in the back of his truck. Doctor Whale helped him put her on a rolling bed   
“We found her in the water.” David said. “She nearly drowned.”    
“Jordan can you hear me?” Whale asked Jordan mumbled incoherently as a nurse was trying to get her vitals.    
“Looks like she got into a fight with someone and lost.” Whale sighed and looked to the nurse for information on her vitals.    
“Blood pressure 160/95 heart rate 98 and climbing.”    
“Body temp?” Whale asked.    
“94.8 Hypothermia.” The nurse replied.    
“Get her an IV started, warm the fluids. Get her some warm blankets too. Quick!” He instructed as he followed. He looked back at David.    
“Who was she with?” He asked.    
“We assumed Killian but..he wouldn’t do this to her.” David said.    
“Are you sure?” Whale asked “Has anyone seen him?”    
“No.” David replied and sighed. “Is she going to be okay?”    
“She should be. I’ll keep you updated. In the meantime you should be looking for our hooked friend.”     
“Call me, if she says anything.” David said as Doctor Whale walked back into the emergency rooms with Jordan. David hesitated to leave, he knew Jordan didn’t have anyone to be here for her and he didn’t really want to leave her alone but he had to find out what happened and the only other person who could possibly know was Killian.    
  
\-----------------------------------------------   
  
_ “Killian! Please! I don’t want to play this game anymore. Cherry!” He was scaring the shit out of her now. He growled and slapped her hard across the face.  _ _   
_ _   
_ “Get Doctor Whale, quickly she’s waking up.” One of the nurses in the room watching over Jordan said to the other.    
  
_ “How many times do I have to tell you Lenna, You address me as Captain!” He shouted at her. Jordan held the side of her face with tears streaming out of her eyes.  _ _   
_ _ “Lenna?” She questioned. “Killian.. What.. did you do?” She asked. “What did you do to Lenna?!” She screamed now _ _   
_ _   
_ Doctor Whale hurried into the room looking at the monitors at Jordan’s heart rate speeding up as she flinched in her sleep appearing to be fighting against something that wasn’t there.    
“Jordan, wake up.” He said nudging her lightly.    
  
_ Killian looked at her confused for a moment but shook his head.  _ _   
_ _ “If you insist on calling me by the wrong name.. I’m going to have to punish you.”  _ _   
_ _ Jordan fought against him twisting around as he chained her back to the bed on her stomach.  _ _   
_ _ “Killian please, Wake up!” She screamed. _ _   
_ _   
_ Jordan’s eyes opened wide, her orange irises were wild with fear and she was confused as Doctor Whales blurred face came into view she screamed and started swinging still in survivor mode, fighting for her life.    
“Jordan!” Whale shouted and held her arms down while she lashed around in the hospital bed ripping the IV out of her arm. Her vision cleared as she was becoming fully awake. She looked around the room panting. Whale let go of her arms and backed away a little. Jordan turned her head to look at him    
“Victor?” She asked confused.    
“Good morning sunshine.” Whale sighed. “How are you feeling?”    
Jordan was suddenly aware that she was warm. Very warm.    
“Why’s it so bloody hot in here?” She asked    
“The room isn’t hot, you are.” Whale said. Jordan gave him a funny look.    
“That sounded like the world's worst pick up line. Let's try again, Your body temp is what I meant. What do you remember about last night?” He asked and cautiously approached Jordan to tend to her arm where the IV had been ripped out. Jordan’s eyes went distant.    
  
_ Such beautiful skin Princess..” He said. “Its a shame I’ll have to ruin it.”  _ _   
_ _ “No! Please Killian don’t!” Jordan cried as he cracked the flogger down on her back She screamed in agony  as he hit her with it again and again, never in the same place, every now and then he’d hit the back of her legs. _ _   
_ __   
Whale waved a hand in front of her face    
“Earth to Jordy..” He said and reached out and touched her shoulder Jordan flinched    
“Cherry!” She yelled at him and scooted away as far as she could. Cowering from him.    
“Cherry?” Whale asked confused he looked at Jordan who was trembling. This Jordan was far from the Jordan he had, had run ins with before.    
“I asked you if you remembered anything from last night and you went somewhere else for a minute.” Whale said.    
“Nothing. I don’t remember anything.” Jordan responded, perhaps too quickly.   
“Okay.” Whale said, although there was no way he actually believed her after all of that. “Just sit tight for a bit, I’d like to keep you a little longer for..er..testing.” He made something up quickly before he left the room.    
  
David came back to the hospital that morning to check on Jordan.    
“Did you find the pirate?” Whale asked.    
“Not yet. Why has she said anything?” David asked.    
“No. She hasn’t said much of anything, its how she’s acting that's got me concerned. Last year, I treated her for a broken wrist when she fell from the rigging on Killians ship. She didn’t even flinch when I set it and she refused pain medicine. Today, not only did she wake up screaming and swinging at me, I put my hand on her shoulder and she acted like I was going to hit her and she was afraid.” Whale explained.     
“Killian loves her, I just don’t see him hurting her.”    
“Well, theres a large bruise in the shape of a hand on her face, and several..welts, and lacerations on her back and legs that suggest maybe you are wrong.” Whale said. “I told her I wanted to keep her a little longer for tests but other than being a little emotionally unstable she’s perfectly healthy now I just..don’t think she should leave just yet.”    
“Why?  do you think she’d hurt someone?” David asked.    
“She could, or she could hurt herself. We don’t know what happened and until we do, I’d rather not let her out of my sight for too long.”    
David nodded.    
“Okay, I’ll talk with her maybe I can get it out of her?” He asked.    
“Or.. maybe Ruby, or Belle, or anyone less..male? I’m about the least scary son of a bitch in this town and if I scared her just by touching her shoulder, I don’t think she’d be too keen to open up to you either.”    
“You’re right. I’ll give Ruby a call.” David agreed.    
  
\-----------------------------------------   
  
Jordan tried her best to replay everything that had happened last night. Looking for any indicator that it wasn’t really Killian who had hit her, Maybe someone was pulling a sick joke on her? Ben perhaps? Maybe he had somehow made himself look like Killian, and he had the real Killian tied up somewhere but she knew now she was just reaching. Even if Ben had done this, It didn’t explain why Killian called her by her sisters name, or had her things on his ship. There was a knock on the door and then it opened. Ruby stepped in with a grin and a bag of food.    
“I figured you didn’t want to eat the hospital food so I brought you some of your favorites.”    
“Thanks..” Jordan said looking at her skeptically as Ruby set the bag of food down on the tray in front of her.    
“I know you don’t really make friends, but people here actually care about you Jordy. You’re one of us whether you want to be or not.” Ruby smiled.    
“What are they saying happened?” Jordan asked curious as to what the rest of the town thought.    
“No one is really saying anything because we don’t know what happened, other than you were found out by the docs, you would have drowned if Leroy didn’t see you. Doctor Whale says when you got here you had hypothermia and you were confused.” Ruby frowned.    
“I feel fine now, I don’t know why they are keeping me.” Jordan shrugged.    
“You told Whale you didn’t remember what happened. I think he’s just keeping an eye on you until your memory comes back.” Ruby explained.    
“Oh..” Jordan sighed and opened the bag of food pulling out a french fry and biting into it. 

The two of them sat in awkward silence while Jordan ate.    
“Jordy.. If you’re afraid to say something because you are afraid of being hurt you don’t have to be. You know that right?” Ruby asked.    
“I’m not afraid of anything Ruby.” Jordan shrugged.    
“I think you’re forgetting I’m a wolf. I can smell fear.” Ruby sighed. “We just want to help you. If Killian did this to you..”    
“It wasn’t Killian!” Jordan yelled.    
“Then who did this to you?” Ruby asked.    
“It wasn’t Killian..” Jordan repeated. At least it wasn’t  _ her _ Killian. “I’m done with this. I’m getting out of here there's no reason to be here.” She said and sat up looking around for her clothes. “Providing I’m not still wanted for the murder of my father that is.” She muttered.    
“You aren’t. It was Ben but no one's been able to find him.”    
“Shocker.” Jordan sighed. “Where the bloody hell are my clothes?”    
“The ones you showed up in were kind of destroyed.” Ruby said and opened her bag. “I bought these from your room.” She said and handed Jordan her clothes. “You can’t just leave, Let me go get Doctor Whale and he can look you over one more time.” Ruby said and left the room. Jordan got out of the bed and quickly got dressed.    
She walked over to the window and looked out. It was quite a drop, but she was confident she’d make it. She opened the window and it set off an alarm that startled her a bit. She heard footsteps coming down the hall rapidly. She hurried and climbed out the window and took a deep breath before she jumped. She landed on the grass below with a thud and a tumble and staggered to her feet and took off.    
  
Whale and David hurried into the room.    
“Damn it!” David sighed and looked out the window. “There's no way she made that jump without hurting herself.” He said in disbelief.    
“Are we talking about the same Jordan, who apparently jumped off a ship in the middle of the ocean and swam nearly all the way to the docks before passing out? Or..” Whale asked.    
  
  
After a couple hours had passed and she figured no one really cared about her escape from the hospital Jordan found herself at the bar at Granny’s. She felt someone sit down next to her and glanced over at Archie and sighed she knew somehow he’d make an appearance.    
“Let me guess, the entire town has signed a petition to get the crazy lady therapy.” She smiled and took a long pull of her drink.    
“Well, no. no one thinks you are crazy, although jumping out the hospital window does throw up a few red flags.”    
“Maybe I’m just an adrenaline junkie.” Jordan shrugged. “Either way my conscience is clear cricket.”    
“It never hurts just to talk to someone Jordan. It's also better for your liver.”    
“Right, well I’m a risk taker and I really don’t like people.” Jordan said and picked up the bottle from the bar and stood up.    
“If you change your mind, you know where to find me.” Archie said.   
“Right on the corner of Piss, and Off.” Jordan winked and left the bar running into the last person she wanted to see.  _ Emma _ . She scoffed and tried to walk away.    
“Jordan wait.” Emma said.    
“What could you possibly want from me Swan?”    
“I wanted to apologize. For blaming you for your father's murder.” Emma said.    
“Its whatever, really.” Jordan shrugged.    
“If you need a safe place to stay..” Emma started to suggest but Jordan shook her head.   
“I can take care of myself. I’m not afraid.”    
“Well you can tell me that until you are blue in the face but I know fear when I see it.” Emma said. “You can only put on the badass act for so long Jordan. Whatever happened to you was horrible and the only thing we want is to help you you just have to let us. If anyone understands what its like to see the man you love turn into someone else, its me.”    
“Let me make myself more clear to you, Emma. I don’t need help. Especially not yours.  You don’t know a bloody thing about my life so don’t pretend that you do and the man that I  _ love _ , is  _ not _ the man that did this to me!” Jordan seethed and threw the bottle she had in her hand at the wall next to Emma before storming off.    
  
The next morning Jordan found herself in the cemetery sitting by her father's grave.    
“If only you had just told me.. What happened to Lenna. What really happened to Lenna..” She sighed. “Foolish old bastard..”    
“I hope you aren’t upset we had the service without you.” David said as he came up behind Jordan    
“I’m not.. I likely wouldn’t have shown up. Not big on funerals.” Jordan mumbled.    
“He left this for you. In his will.” David said and passed her a box. Jordan opened the box and looked down at the key, and the vial of pink liquid inside.    
“I tested the key, its to the house I don’t know what's in the vial do you?” David asked. Jordan nodded.    
“I do.” She said and took it out and put it in her pocket and then closed the box with the key still in it and held it out to him.    
“I don’t want the house.”    
“Maybe, just look at it before you decide. You can’t live at the B&B forever.” He suggested and squeezed her shoulder before walking away.    
  
Jordan had decided after looking through the house, that maybe it would be good for her to have, David was right she couldn’t live at the B&B forever so it took her a week or so but she was moving in.    
Ruby set another box of things down in the front room of the house.    
“Is this the rest of your things?” She asked.    
“Yeah besides besides what I have on Killian’s ship..” Jordan replied. Ruby noticed how she had flinched when she said his name.    
“I know you’ve said you don’t want to talk about it Jordy but I wanted you to know I’m here whenever you need me. Call me any day, any time and I will come over and we can do whatever you want we can sit here and stare at the wall in silence I just want you to know that you aren’t alone. No matter how hard you try and push everyone away.    
“Thanks Ruby. I appreciate it.” Jordan said and gave her a small smile.    
“Was that an actual smile?” Ruby grinned.    
“Savor it. It doesn’t happen often.” Jordan smirked.    
“I left my number and Davids number on the fridge in case you need them.”    
“Why would I need Davids number?”    
“Well its just Killian’s ship was back at the docks this morning and..I know you’ve got that whole badass vibe going for you but..I know something happened out there, something you aren’t telling anyone and I know he had something to do with it so If you don’t feel safe you can call David and he can come check things out.” Ruby offered. Jordan froze. For a week, she had walked by the docks every day, she figured Killian just wasn’t coming back that he had to sort out his demons his own way but apparently not, apparently he was back and Jordan was left completely unprepared thus beginning her downward spiral into madness. 


	11. We're All Mad Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jordan loses her mind and gets the answers she wants out of Killian her way.   
> Feeling lost, Jordan seeks refuge in the only other person in Storybrooke who knows her completely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a lot of fun with this one. Writing Crazy Jordan was the best. XD   
> I hope you all enjoy this chapter I'm really excited for the dark things I have coming :D   
> <3 Please comment your thoughts!

_ Years ago   
  
It was one of those rare nights, when Mae thought perhaps she’d made a mistake leaving behind the life of being a princess. It was cold, she was hungry and exhausted however she was running out of safe places to sleep and the people in the market place were starting to recognize her so stealing food from there was no longer an option.  _ _   
_ _ As she walked through the woods, looking for an abandoned cottage or anything she could sleep in for the night, she couldn’t help but feel she was being followed. She discreetly pulled one of her throwing knives from her belt and carried on as if she didn’t know any different. She heard a twig snap just a few paces behind her she spun around and threw her knife pinning whoever was following her to a tree by their coat. She approached the stranger cautiously, he was wearing a long black coat, with a brown vest and a red scarf. He had black leather trousers and boots that came to his knees but most noticeably was the large black top hat on the top of his head.  _ _   
_ _ “You missed.” He laughed at her.  _ _   
_ _ “Oh, believe me if I was meaning to kill you, I wouldn’t have missed.” Mae hissed “Why are you following me?”  _ _   
_ _ “You looked lost, I thought perhaps I could be of assistance.” He said and gave her a little bow.  _ _   
_ _ “I’m not lost.” Mae snorted. “I just haven’t figured out quite..where I am going.” She muttered.  _ _   
_ _ “In other words, lost.” The man grinned.  _ _   
_ _ “Okay, so I’m lost. I’m not about to take directions from strangely dressed men in the middle of the forest.” Mae sighed.  _ _   
_ _ “You look hungry, and tired. You could keep on without me, but you’ll pass out from exhaustion long before you find a place to sleep on your own and then you’ll be eaten by wolves.”The man reached into his satchel and handed her the remnants of a loaf of bread. Mae was skeptical but she took it, she was hungry  _ _   
_ _ “You know of a place to sleep?” She asked and took a bite from the bread.  _ _   
_ _ “I do. But you’ll have to kindly remove your knife from my coat before I help you any further.” Mae reached out and pulled her knife from his coat.  _ _   
_ _ “Lead the way.” She said poking him in the back with the knife. The man chuckled.  _ _   
_ _ “So pushy.” He said. Mae took a couple of steps and wobbled.  _ _   
_ _ “I..feel rather funny.” She mumbled.  _ _   
_ _ “How long has it been since you’ve slept?” The man asked  _ _   
_ _ Mae couldn’t even get a response out before she fell forward. The man caught her before she hit the ground. The bread rolled out of her hand and onto the ground.  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ When Mae woke up she could hear the crackling of a fire and felt the heat from it on her face. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and sat up looking around. The mans coat was laid over her as a blanket and he was sitting across from her watching her.  _ _   
_ _ “What happened?” She asked.  _ _   
_ _ “We were walking and you collapsed. I told you you’d pass out from exhaustion.” He shrugged. “You were freezing so I carried you to a good place to make camp, and started a fire.”  _ _   
_ _ “Why?” Mae asked.  _ _   
_ _ “Because sometimes strangely dressed men in the middle of the forest aren’t that bad.”  _ _   
_ _ “What is your name?” She asked.  _ _   
_ _ “Jefferson.” He replied simply tilting his hat at her. “And you?”  _ _   
_ _ “Mae Sterling.” She replied. He looked at her perplexed for a moment before reaching into his satchel and unfolding a piece of parchment  _ _   
_ _ “Really? You look a lot like Maebh Tate to me.” He suggested and turned the parchment to her She looked at the missing poster with her portrait on it. Mae scoffed and pushed his coat off of her and looked around for her things.  _ _   
_ _ “What are you doing?” Jefferson asked.  _ _   
_ _ “I don’t care what my father is paying you to return me, I won’t go.” She snapped.  _ _   
_ _ “Who said I was taking you back to Adaerith?” Jefferson asked.  _ _   
_ _ “Why else would you have that?” She asked.  _ _   
_ _ “Why would you leave your life of royalty, for the life of a scavenger?”  _ _   
_ _ “Because my father is a cruel selfish man who I want nothing to do with.” Mae spat and tore the poster from his hand and tossed it in the fire watching it burn. She looked at Jefferson.  _ _   
_ _ “I won’t go back.” She said firmly.  _ _   
_ _ “I believe you.” He nodded. Mae sighed and sat down in front of the fire pulling her knees and tucking them under her chin and Jefferson saw the person underneath the tough mask she wore. He saw her for the scared, and lost girl that she was.  _ _   
_ _ “I don’t know what I’m doing..” She admitted. “I have no bloody idea. I know that I don’t want to go back. Ever, but sometimes the unknown is worse.. I don’t know if I’ll eat tomorrow, I don’t know when I will get a chance to sleep again. My life is just spiraling out of control and I don’t know how to stop it.”  _ _   
_ _ “Maybe the best way to stop it, is by handing the reins to someone else.” Jefferson shrugged.  _ _   
_ _ “What do you mean?” Mae asked.  _ _   
_ _ “Give your burdens to someone else. Let someone else worry about what happens to you.”  _ _   
_ _ “I don’t understand.” Mae shook her head confused. Jefferson stood up and approached her and held his hand out.  _ _   
_ _ “Allow me to show you?”  He smiled. Mae slowly reached out and took his hand.  _ _   
_ __   
\-------------------------------------------------------

_   
_ It had been a while since Jordan had thought of Jefferson. The last time she had even pondered the idea of him was just before she had met Killian. Usually when she felt herself slipping out of control is when he haunted her mind and at the moment, on 3 days with hardly any sleep Jordan couldn’t remember a time when she ever felt so out of sorts. She looked at her phone as Killian was calling again. She’d lost count of how many times he’d called over the last 3 days. She almost ready to face him. To ask him about her sister. The only thing she could think of, is if he mistakenly called her Lenna, while he was being horrible to her, what exactly did he do to Lenna? Jordan only endured the attack for that one night and had since struggled to find herself. How long had her sister been tortured? Why was she tortured? That Killian was not the Killian she knew, the Killian she loved. She jumped at the sudden knock on the door. Her heart pounded in her chest as she cautiously made her way to the door and looked out the peephole. She sighed in relief. It was only Ruby. She opened the door just a crack. She hadn’t left the house in days so the sunlight was blinding.    
“Hey..” She said.    
“Hey, I’ve been trying to call you and I came by yesterday to see if you were okay but you didn’t answer the door.” Ruby said.    
“I’m fine Ruby.” Jordan replied.    
“I’ll believe that when I see more than just your eyeball.” Ruby said and put her hands on her hips.    
“I’m really not up for company Ruby.” Jordan sighed.    
“You haven’t been out of the house in days. I’m not leaving until I see you.”    
Jordan grumbled to herself and opened the door all the way squinting at the sunlight.    
“Here I am.” She said and gave a little bow.    
“You look like hell.” Ruby sighed noticing the dark circles around her eyes.    
“You have such a way with words.” Jordan smiled at her. Ruby raised an eyebrow at her and stepped in the house.    
“Please, do come in.” Jordan mumbled and shut the door behind her. Ruby walked into the kitchen and checked the fridge.    
“Have you been eating?” She asked. “You obviously haven’t been sleeping.”    
“Here and there.” Jordan shrugged. “Ruby really I’m fine. I’m just…” She struggled trying to find the words.    
“Hiding?” Ruby asked. “Jordy seriously I know you want to protect him but I know, he did this to you. No matter what you say and you aren’t going to be able to function until you either face him. Or talk to someone, tell them what he did stop keeping it to yourself.”    
“It. Wasn’t. HIM.” Jordan spat. “The killian I love did not do this to me.”    
“Maybe not the Killian you love, but something happened out there and he’s just as spazzed out as you are.”    
“You talked to him?” Jordan asked.    
“Emma did.” Ruby replied.    
“Oh. I’m sure she did.” Jordan rolled her eyes.    
“She’s worried about you too Jordan. Everyone is. Killian has absolutely no recollection of what happened that night, he said he woke up the other day and you weren’t there and he panicked. He thought the worst. He thought there was an accident and you were gone.”    
Jordan clenched her fists the thought that Killian had no idea what had happened when it was the only thing she could think about day and night for the last week and a half was enraging.    
“Jordan?” Ruby asked.    
“I.. I’d like to be alone.” Jordan said.    
“I don’t know if that's best..you’re a mess.” Ruby sighed.    
“Ruby I just want to be alone!” Jordan shouted.    
“Okay. Okay..” Ruby said. “Please just be careful. I don’t like this. I’m worried about you.”    
“I’m fine. I can handle myself.” Jordan mumbled. Ruby hesitated for a just a moment before she left. Jordan’s phone vibrated on the counter. She walked over and picked it up sliding her thumb up the screen to unlock her phone and reading the text message.    
  
**Killian:**   
_ Stop ignoring me. I’ll be at the Rabbit hole tonight. 9pm  We need to talk _ .    
  
Jordan put her phone down and paced for a few minutes.    
_ You need to talk to him. You need to know. You need to know what he did to Lenna.  _ _   
_ Jordan picked up her phone again and typed out a quick message.    
  
**Jordan:** **  
** _ I’ll be there.  _ _   
_ _   
_ Her eyes darkened as she put her phone down on the counter. She began walking around the house arranging things and digging up long forgotten items out of her closet. Setting them aside. Killian surely had other plans for this evening but Jordan was ready to face him and if he didn’t remember what he had done, she would make him remember.    
  
_ 3 days ago  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Killian hurried into the sherrifs station as soon as he got back to town, He wasn’t even sure at this point how long he’d been gone. Or how long his blackout had lasted. Emma came around the corner armed with a cup of coffee which she nearly dropped at the sight of the pirate. No one expected him to come back. Everyone knew, even if Jordan refused to say something everyone knew that he was the one who had left her in that state. It couldn’t have been anyone else.  _ _   
_ _ “Hook.. what are you doing here?” She asked.  _ _   
_ _ “Something has happened. I took Jordan sailing, but I woke up just yesterday not remembering a thing and I searched all over the bloody ship for her and she’s gone. I fear something's happened to her.” Killian said frantically. Emma put her coffee down and put her hands on her hips glaring at him.  _ _   
_ _ “You expect me to believe you don’t remember a thing? That you just blacked out?”  _ _   
_ _ “Yes, Swan! Thats what I’m telling you!” Killian shouted. “Has anyone seen Jordan?!”  _ _   
_ _ “We’ve all seen Jordan, Killian. What I think happened is you felt so guilty that you just blocked out what really happened that night.” Emma insisted. Killian gave her a look between perplexed and anger.  _ _   
_ _ “Why would I feel guilty? Where is she? Is she hurt?”  _ _   
_ _ “Well considering she jumped out of the hospital window I don’t think she’s terribly hurt or..she’s super human. You honestly don’t remember Killian?” Emma asked, this time she looked confused.  _ _   
_ _ “No. Emma, I don’t remember. What happened?” He asked.  _ _   
_ _ “Well..I thought I had it pretty well figured out until you came in here not remembering anything..” Emma sighed and gestured for the chair  across from her desk which Killian took. Emma sat down.  _ _   
_ _ “You’ve been gone for almost 2 weeks, David and Leroy found Jordan struggling to stay afloat by the docks a little over a week ago. David brought her to the hospital and Whale treated her for Hypothermia. She wouldn’t tell anyone what happened. She said she didn’t remember but I know fear when I see it.”  _ _   
_ _ “Jordan isn’t afraid of anything.” Killian shook his head.  _ _   
_ _ “Killian when she was found, she was found beaten. She had swelling and bruising on the side of her face and welts and lacerations all over her back and legs. Jordan’s tough and she acts like nothing bothers her but She was truly scared Killian.”  _ _   
_ _ Killian’s eyes welled over with tears. What had he done?  _ _   
_ _ “I need to see her. Where is she?”  _ _   
_ _ “I can’t give you that information Killian not until I know more.”  _ _   
_ _ “The hell you can’t Swan! I need to see her!” Killian shouted with a tear rolling down his cheek. Emma could count the times on one hand she’d seen him cry. He truly had no recollection of what he had done to Jordan. Emma sighed.  _ _   
_ _ “Maybe call her, text her. If she wants to talk to you that's up to her.” She said and stood up. “And Killian, maybe get some help.” She suggested before walking out of the room.  _ _   
_ __   
Present day    
  
Killian blinked his eyes opened and winced at the dull throb in his head. The room was dimly lit with candles. It was damp and cold. He looked around trying to get a sense of where he might be. He sat up on his knees and went to stand but he was chained by the wrist. He pulled, trying to pull the chain from the wall but it held firm. He looked to his left, his hook had been removed.    
“Looking for something?”    
His head turned and he looked dead ahead of him at Jordan leaning against the wall. Holding his hook on her finger swinging it back and forth tauntingly. She raised her other hand to her mouth and took a drag from her cigarette.    
“Jordy? What the bloody hell I thought we were meeting at the bar? What the devil are you doing?!”    
“We did meet at the bar, You turned your head for just a moment and I slipped something into your drink. You really should be more careful.”    
“What did you put in my drink?!” Killian demanded.    
“See the wonderful thing about this world is there are all sorts of things that do just as well as Poppy dust but they are easier to find. If you know where to look.” She smiled and pushed herself off the wall with her foot strolling over to him out of the shadows. Killian got a look at her face, he could see the faint bruising left over on the side of her face. Her eyes had dark circles around them. Her eyes were glassy and distant but also held a certain madness to them. Killian wanted to reach out and touch her face but he couldn’t.    
“I don’t know what I did to you Jordy. I don’t remember it, but I am truly sorry.”    
“You can’t be sorry for something you don’t remember Killian. But don’t worry, I’ll help you.” She smiled at him. She had gone off her bloody rocker.    
“Let me see.” Killian said softly. Jordan turned her back to him and pulled her shirt off over her head and tossed it aside. Killian looked at the welts that Emma described, they were still prominent, The lacerations had scabbed over but looked painful. He didn’t understand how she didn’t appear to be in pain. His eyes welled over again. Did he really do this to her?    
“Unchain me, let me help you, those must hurt Jordy.” He begged. Jordan turned back around and pulled the cigarette from her lips she sauntered over to him and crouched down straddling his lap.    
“I don’t feel a thing.” She giggled “Wanna see?” She asked but before he could protest she pressed the lit end of the cigarette into her forearm he could hear it sizzle on her skin but she didn’t even flinch. Her eyes showed absolutely no pain.    
“Jordy stop!” He yelled and looked at her arm that had several burn marks and cuts.    
“What are you doing to yourself?!” He demanded. She laughed and flicked the cigarette away.    
“Its sweet of you, really. To be so concerned but I don’t feel it.”    
“How?” Killian asked.    
“I don’t allow it.” Jordan smiled.    
“You aren’t making a damn bit of sense Jordan. Let me out of here and we will go get you some help. Please.” Killian begged her.    
“I don’t need help!” She screamed at him and then sighed. “Sorry, I don’t mean to yell. I should have better explained it. You see, you can train your brain not to feel certain things by flipping mental switches like a light. I can turn my pain receptors off and on. Like that.” She said with a snap of her fingers for emphasis. “Its quite simple. But it does take some work, and experimenting.” She said and ran her fingers over the burn marks and scabbed cuts on her arm.    
“Jordan this is insane. I understand, I hurt you. I may not remember the details, but I can see the damage thats been done We can both get help. We both clearly need it.”  Jordan reared back and slapped him across the face.    
“I don’t need help. I just need answers.” She snarled at him but then smiled again and rubbed his cheek soothing the sting. Her hands moved down and her fingers worked the buttons on his shirt.    
“What kind of answers?” Killian asked as she raked her fingernails through his dark wirey chest chair and rolled her hips against his. What was she doing? Her fingers went down to his belt buckle and she unbuckled his belt and pulled it through the loops she folded it in her hands and snapped it the sound made him flinch and he got flashes of his leather flogger cracking down on Jordan’s back.    
“Am I jogging your memory Killian?” She asked with a grin before she raised herself off of him and unbuttoned and unzipped his pants before tugging them down off his hips freeing his half hardened length.    
“Oh…” She purred. “I think you like this more than you are telling me.” She said    
“Bloody hell Jordan stop this!” He growled at her.    
“Oo the commanding tone. Ever the Captain, love.” she smiled at him. “You aren’t really one to relinquish control are you?” She tsked. “How fair is that? I let you dominate me. Possess me. But when I want to play the game you get mad?” She pouted at him.    
“Jordan stop this before you do something you regret.” He hissed as she took his length in her hand and started stroking slowly.    
“I want to play a game Killian. Its a fun game really, if you follow the rules.” She smirked darkly at him    
“What. are the rules?” Killian breathed.    
“Simple, I ask you a question. If you answer correctly and truthfully you’ll be rewarded.” She said and then stopped her stroking and began to squeeze her fingers around him. He gasped in pain.    
“However if I find your answers are anything less than truthful..” She leaned in as she squeezed him causing unbearable pain, he cried out sharply.    
“Pop goes the Pirate.” She whispered in his ear in a sing song tone and released him.    
“You’ve gone bloody Mad!” he spat at her trying to push her away from him. Jordan glared at him and leaned to the side and picked up a taser. Killian jumped as she turned it on and he heard it crackling.    
“Be a good boy Killian.” She warned him and turned the taser off but held it under his chin. “Are we ready to play now?”    
Killian nodded and swallowed thickly.    
“Get on with it.” He said.    
Jordan grinned. “Excellent.” she said and went back to straddling his lap.    
“While on the ship, I found a satchel of my sister's belongings in your cargo hold. How did you know my sister?” She asked.    
“She was a stowaway on my ship. Many years ago.” Killian explained.    
“Good boy.” Jordan praised and leaned in pressing her lips to his as she rolled her hips against him smirking at the low growl escaping his throat.    
“How long was she on your ship?” Jordan asked.    
“I..I don’t remem-” His sentence was cut short as the taser crackled against his chest.     
“I don’t remember is not an acceptable answer Killian.” Jordan sighed.    
“A year. Perhaps a little more than a year.” Killian answered.    
“Excellent.” Jordan said and raised herself again and pushed her pants off of her hips and shimmied out of them kicking them off before settling herself back on his lap. Killian groaned as he felt the dampened material of her panties against him. She was enjoying hurting him.    
“Was Lenna held on your ship against her will?” Jordan asked.    
“Well.. Its difficult to answer that in a way.” Killian sighed. “She wasn’t, but..she was.”    
Jordan pressed the taser against his chest again and he howled in pain.    
“Was she, or wasn’t she?” She snarled.    
“She was!” Killian yelled. “She was there against her will for the most part but it wasn’t long before she wanted to be there.”   
“Explain.” Jordan pressed, holding the taser to his chest ready to turn it on.    
“I suppose I made her feel like I was the only safe place she had to turn. She depended on me for her survival.” Killian explained.    
“So..Stockholm Syndrome.” Jordan pondered outloud and raised her hips and moved her panties to the side and teased him with her heat.    
“You want it?” She asked. Killian wanted to say no but he’d be a bloody liar if he did. He nodded his head and then shuddered as she slowly sank down on him.    
“What did you do to Lenna, Killian?” Jordan asked as she moved on him    
“I did horrible things to Lenna.” Killian answered and winced as she stopped her movement. The pressure building was excruciating.    
“More specific.” Jordan said.    
“You want me to tell you in detail what I did to your sister?” Killian asked in disbelief     
“I believe I endured only a fraction of the torture you put her through. Day after Day for a whole year. I need to know what you did.”    
“She was a stubborn lass, like yourself.” Killian sighed as she started moving on him again. “But she was so..so different than you. She was so fragile. So easily broken. When I took her that first time, she changed completely. She followed every command. Everything I asked her to do, she did without hesitation.. I ruined her day after day. I beat her, I fucked her, sometimes both at the same time. I called her a slave.”    
Jordan felt him twitching inside of her and pulled herself off of him he growled in frustration at her and she pressed the taser against his chest turning it on again.    
“Ah!” He screamed “I Bloody answered your questions!”    
“You raped and tortured my sister and talking about it was getting you off!” Jordan accused.    
“Me? What about you? You’re fucking me as I tell you what I did to your sister!” Killian screamed again as she held the taser to his chest before she threw it aside     
“Does my sister live?” Jordan asked. Killian drew a few deep breaths trying to focus on anything but the searing pain through his whole body.    
“N..No” He stammered. Jordan’s face dropped. The first bit of actual emotion he’d seen from her all night. She picked up his hook and held it to his throat.    
“Did. You. Kill. Her?” She demanded.    
“NO!” Killian yelled. “No.. I didn’t kill her. She was pregnant with Ben.. I sent her back home to your father. He sentenced her to death but the Cabin boy.. On my ship his name was Bennett. He loved her, and she loved him. He saved her and took her away from Adaerith. They were married and he helped her raise Benjamin but she got sick with a mysterious illness. I later found them, I killed Bennett, but then I saw Ben.. and I felt guilty for leaving him fatherless I went another four years before I saw them again and Lenna begged me to take Benjamin away with me. So he wouldn’t be left alone, but Ben wouldn’t leave his mother so they both boarded my ship. Lenna’s body finally gave out after another year. I didn’t Kill her.”    
Jordan backed away from him.    
“Ben.. hes.. My nephew?” She asked feeling suddenly sick to her stomach.    
“Aye. Love I didn’t know this until your fathers benefit ball and I am terribly sorry for all that I have done. If you want to kill me, I wouldn’t bloody blame you the least. Just do it. Get it over with.” Jordan approached him cautiously and unchained him.    
“I wont kill you.” She said. Killian staggered to his feet and stepped towards her. “Jordy.. Please let me get you some help. We both need it.” Jordan backed away from him.    
“Leave.” She said.    
“Jordan I love you, you know that the man I was, is far from the man I am today..”    
“GO!” Jordan screamed at him. “I don’t want to see you again!” But before he could say anything else she picked up her clothes and retreated up the steps. Killian tried to hold himself together as he picked himself up. He’d always wondered if his past could be too dark for Jordan and he finally got his answer.    
  
\-------------------------------------------------------------   
  
Jordan stumbled up the long walkway looking up at the large mansion in front of her. She never in a million years thought she would find herself back here. She leaned against the door and rang the bell. She waited for a couple of minutes before ringing it again followed by pounding on the door. She heard the locks clicking and the door was pulled open. She looked up at the man in the doorway.    
“What are you doing here?” He asked in a less than pleased tone.    
“I’m home..” She said sheepishly. The man scoffed and went to shut the door.    
“Jefferson wait!” Jordan begged and fell to her knees at his feet a sobbing and shaking mess.    
“Please.. I’m lost.” She begged him looking up. Jefferson smoothed his hand through her hair an eerie grin tugged at his lips.    



	12. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jefferson gets under Jordan's skin. Jordan struggles with her conflicting feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep in mind that ANY CaptainSwan in this story is Not romantic, Just friendship. (I don't want to disappoint anyone who thinks the little scene in this chapter that they share leads to anything romantic. It doesn't.) 
> 
> I'm glad you guys are excited about Jefferson's appearance in the story. I love him. XD   
> Those of you who aren't, Don't worry though soon Jordy will be back to herself!   
> and Ben will be back soon too. I have lots of fun planned for this story! 
> 
> **Also the next update might not be for a week or so, I've been working the past 4 days and I have 2 more scheduled days before I get a couple days off and those days I will be celebrating my wedding anniversary and I won't really be writing. Just wanted to let you all know so you don't think I've disappeared.

Jordan wiped the steam from the mirror in the bathroom and looked at herself. The person staring back at her was a long forgotten version of herself. She saw Maebh Tate, the scared runaway princess who didn’t know which way was up and which way was down, but she supposed that was why she found herself back here, with Jefferson. Jefferson was like that one blanket that you’ve had for ages and you know you should probably get a new blanket but you can’t part with this particular blanket because it's comfortable, its what you know.    
There was a soft tapping on the door that startled Jordan.    
“Jordy?” Jefferson called. Jordan sighed and held the towel around her up and opened the door.    
“I found some of your old clothes.” Jefferson said and held out her clothes which were folded neatly. She took them from him.    
“Thank you.” She said quietly. “I’ll only be a moment.”    
Jefferson nodded. “I’ll have the tea ready when you are done.” He said and watched her closely for a moment before she closed the door and went to get dressed.    
  
When Jordan returned to the living room, as promised Jefferson was waiting with tea. The fire was going. Jordan sat down across from him. He looked her up and down and frowned.    
“What?” She asked.    
“Its a bit cold for that, I should have looked for warmer clothes I know you have some somewhere here.” He sighed.     
Jordan was in her old jogging clothes, which was a pair of black under armour capris and a matching tank top. She shook her head.    
“I’m warm enough. Honestly.” She said. “I’ll look for my other clothes tomorrow.” She added and sipped slowly at her tea. Jefferson stood up and walked over to her and took her hand in his and flipped her arm over looking at the burns and cuts.    
“What have you done to yourself?” He asked. Jordan pulled her arm away.    
“I don’t want to talk about it.” She mumbled. “Hows life?”    
“Hows life?” Jefferson asked and scoffed. “You leave me, almost 2 years ago out of nowhere without so much as a goodbye or even a reason why and then you show up here, all fucked up and out of sorts at 2 in the morning again with no explanation, and you are asking me hows life?” He sneered. Jordan looked down, her eyes welled with tears and she sniffled. Jefferson sighed and crouched down to her wiping away her tears with his thumb.    
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to explode like that, I’ve been holding that in a while.” He said.   
“I’ve lost it Jefferson. I fell down the bloody rabbit hole and I’ve gone bonkers.” Jordan cried.    
“Well you know that if anyone knows Bonkers, its me.” Jefferson chuckled. “I want to help you Jordy I just need to know how far gone you are so I can bring you back. What happened to you?”    
Jordan shook her head. She didn’t want to tell him, she’d rather it just all went away. She stood up and paced. She was wearing a racerback tank top so Jefferson could see the welts and scabs on her back.    
“What the fuck did that pirate do to you?” He demanded now. Jordan turned around    
“Oh as if you didn’t hear!” She shouted at him. “The whole bloody town was throwing me a fucking pity party! Poor Jordy beaten bloody by her pirate boyfriend!” She raked her fingers through her hair tugging and screaming in frustration.    
“You know Goddamn well that I don’t pay attention to what the people in town say!” Jefferson argued. “Now stop!” He said and put his hands over hers pulling them away from her hair. “You came here, for my help which you are even lucky I am willing to give all things considering. So you are going to sit down, and tell me what the hell is going on.” He said firmly and walked Jordan backwards until the backs of her legs hit the chair she was sitting in and she lost balance and fell back in the chair. Jefferson was still holding her hands. “If I let go of your hands are you going to hit me?” He asked. Jordan shook her head. He smiled and leaned in until his lips brushed her ear.    
“Good girl.” He whispered and pulled back and took his hands off of hers and walked back to his seat and sat down looking at her expectantly. Jordan sipped more of her tea.    
“Can we just talk in the morning? I’m tired.” She sighed. Jefferson sat back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest staring her down. She knew she wasn’t leaving this room until she told him everything. She was stubborn, but she had learned from the master, which just so happened to be him.    
“I’m telling you, you don’t want to know.” She mumbled. “I don’t even want to know. I just want it gone.”    
“If I didn’t want to know, I wouldn’t be sitting here, and you would likely be out on the front porch in the cold but here we are.” Jefferson sighed.    
Jordan took a deep breath.    
“I’m in love with a man who not only went crazy and beat the hell out of me, he brutally raped and tortured my sister, Who became pregnant with his son and my nephew Ben, Ben is a murderous prick, he killed my father, oh and by the way I fucked him. So.. there's that.” Jordan said and then sat back reading Jefferson's expression which was incredibly confused.    
“Wait. you..fucked your nephew or your father?” He asked.    
“Honestly Hatter? My Nephew!” Jordan practically squeaked. “Ew.”    
“Well its still ew no matter how you look at it  _ Princess _ .” Jefferson said and arched a brow at her. Jordan glared at him. She absolutely hated being called Princess, and he knew it.    
“I didn’t come here for your condescending looks, or I told you so’s Jefferson.” Jordan said and glanced away.    
“Yes you did. As always, you need my approval.”    
“I do not.” Jordan scoffed.    
“Then tell me Jordan, why are you here?” He asked and leaned forward. “And why do you still wear that choker I gave you?”    
Jordan was clenching and un-clenching her fists. Grinding her teeth, trying to focus on anything but his cool blue eyes that were reaching into her soul. Jefferson sighed at her lack of answers to his questions.    
“You know, you’ve left me twice now, and both times I have been generous enough to let you come back the least you could do is answer my questions.” He grumbled.    
“I don’t owe you anything.” Jordan shrugged. Jefferson glared and stood up kicking his chair backwards.    
“You owe me everything!” He hissed. Jordan flinched and her eyes held a fear that Jefferson had never seen before.  _ Damn that Pirate for fucking her up.  _ _   
_ “Why can’t you do what I ask you to do?” He asked.    
“Why can’t you just leave it be? I already feel lousy.” Jordan mumbled.    
“Because you know thats not how this works.” Jefferson sighed.   
“I think I’ve given you the wrong impression.”    
“No, If you just needed a safe place to stay for the night, you could have picked Ruby, Belle, hell even Regina! But you came all the way out here. You chose me and if you expect me to help you, you’re going to admit to me that you’ve fucked up and you need me!”    
Jordan crossed her arms and looked away from him.    
“When did you become so damn stubborn?” Jefferson asked. Jordan refused to answer.    
“Fine. you can sleep out here. You leave when you wake up.” Jefferson said and stormed out of the room.    
“Fine!” Jordan shouted after him and curled up in the chair watching the fire in the fire place dance trying to mentally be anywhere else. She just wanted to come to a familiar place. A place that was safe to her, she didn’t expect Jefferson to be welcoming so why she expected him to not be a gigantic arse was beyond her.    
  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------   
  
It had been a long night, and now Emma was answering a call from one of Jordan’s neighbors complaining about the sounds of screaming. It was almost 3 in the morning, what the hell was Jordan even doing? When she got to the house it was completely dark, she got out of the car with her flashlight and gun and started walking towards the door. She jumped back as a tall figure staggered out of the front door groaning in pain.    
“Stop!” She yelled with her gun pointed. “Hands where I can see em.”    
She watched as the figure slowly raised his hand and..hook?    
“Killian?” She asked completely puzzled.   
“Aye. Its me.” He groaned and stepped off the steps and crumpled to the ground. Emma instinctively rushed to his side.    
“What the hell happened to you? Why are you at Jordan’s house?”    
“Jordans house? Thats where I am?” He asked. “She never mentioned.” He said in almost a laugh and then he winced.    
“Is she in there?” Emma asked.    
“No, she’s long gone. Who knows where.” Killian said as Emma helped him to his feet.    
“Did she do this to you?” Emma asked.    
“Are you here to laugh Swan?” Killian asked.    
“No, I just want to know what happened..” Emma sighed.    
“Jordan went bloody mad, and I became acquainted with her taser.”    
“Care to give me a little more context, Hook?” Emma asked with a brow raised.    
“How much time you got?”    
“Its 3 in the morning..” Emma replied flatly, in reality she’d love to get back to bed but this was important. She sighed.    
“I have enough time for a couple of drinks and apparently one hell of a story.”    
  
\---------------------------------------------------------------   
  
The sun was coming up, Jordan was still awake and pacing the floor in front of the fireplace mumbling to herself. Her mind kept going back to Killian and how he was doing, she shouldn't have given a damn about him. Not after what he told her about Lenna, but she did. She could turn off all the pain receptors she wanted to but nothing stopped the dull ache in her chest. She’d gone days with hardly any sleep but she couldn’t seem to get her brain to shut down and she was desperate to feel anything,  _ anything  _ other than the heartache she felt now.    
  
Jefferson was also restless, he walked back into the living room to check on Jordan, he hoped she was sleeping, she looked like she hadn’t had a decent night sleep in days so when he walked into the living room and saw her kneeling in front of the fireplace he sighed.    
“Jordy what are you doing?” He asked as he approached her. Jordan was reaching out leaning closer to the fire place dangerously close to sticking her hand directly into the fire and Jefferson realized quickly she wasn’t planning on stopping. He hurried to her and pulled her back    
“What the hell are you doing?!” He demanded Jordan blinked at him for a couple seconds and then she crumbled. The tears were running down her cheeks and she was trembling in his arms.    
“I just want to feel something else.” She sobbed. “It hurts too much.”    
Jefferson held her close rocking her in his arms.    
“I don’t want to leave don’t make me leave.” She cried. Jefferson kissed the top of her head gently.    
“I won’t.” He whispered into her hair before he shifted her in his arms and lifted her from the floor as he stood carrying her to the bedroom. He laid her down on the bed and climbed in next to her she clung to him like a scared cat    
“I came here because I feel safe here.” Jordan mumbled.    
Jefferson looked at her confused.    
“I’m answering your question from earlier, you asked why I came here.”    
“Thats not important right now Jordy, just sleep okay?” He asked.    
Jordan snuggled into his neck.    
“I kept the choker becaus-”    
“Shhh. Just sleep.” Jefferson said again. He knew why she kept the choker. It was a reminder of where she truly belonged,  __ here. With him. His lips curled into a smile as he heard her snoring lightly and her fingers curled tightly into his shirt.    
She was home and he’d be damned if she left him again. 


	13. Shelter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jordan and Jefferson begin to get readjusted with each other.   
> Have a cliffhanger. ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REMINDER: Like Stowaway, this story doesn't follow the original story line for OUAT, it has some similarities, but its very different. Keep that in mind as you read this chapter and the next one. (Chapter 13, or 14 as it shows on here will be posted in a couple days. I originally wrote this chapter and the next as one big chapter but it was almost 6000 words so I split it up XD)   
> I couldn't justify Jefferson acting the way he does in this chapter and the next one, if Grace existed in this story, so she doesn't. Sorry.   
> Also final CS Disclaimer: CaptainSwan is NOT endgame in this story. They aren't even a couple here. Just friends. Just don't want people yelling at me :P   
> Also don't hate me for these two chapters. >.> I like Angst. Okay? I have an Angst problem.

Jordan sat up rubbing the sleep out of her eyes before looking at the clock. She’d slept all day, it was almost 3pm now. She looked beside her at the empty space where Jefferson had been earlier. She sighed heavily and pulled her knees up tucking them under her chin trying to think of what to do now? She hadn’t allowed herself to feel this vulnerable in a long time. She looked at the window wondering if she should just leave.    
No. She couldn’t do that to him again. Not without an explanation this time at least. She took a deep breath and swung her legs around the side of the bed and stood walking across the hardwood floor and out of the room making the walk of shame to the dining room where Jefferson was setting plates of food down. Jordan truthfully wasn’t hungry her stomach was still in knots over Killian’s revelation.    
“How did you know I was up?” Jordan asked leaning in the archway to the dining room.    
“I know you.” Jefferson shrugged. “Sit.” He said and gestured to a chair. Jordan nodded and sat down at the table and pulled the chair up staring down at the plate of food, there was eggs, toast with strawberry Jam, and bacon.    
“Breakfast? Jefferson..is 3 in the afternoon.” Jordan said with a hint of a laugh.    
“Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, no matter how late it is, and you look like you haven’t eaten in days.” Jefferson chastised. Jordan raised her eyebrow at him and sat back in her chair, not appreciating his tone. Jefferson sat down across from her.   
“Don’t look at me like that, its not my fault you don’t know how to take care of yourself.” he scoffed. “Eat. then we talk.”    
Jordan lifted a piece of toast and took a bite.    
“Talk.. about what?” She asked while chewing. Jefferson swallowed the food in his mouth before speaking.    
“The usual, terms and conditions of your new living arrangements.” He smiled at her.    
“I have a house you know, my father left it to me.” Jordan shrugged.    
“So why didn’t you just go there?” Jefferson asked. Jordan almost choked on her toast. She’d yet to tell Jefferson she had tied Killian up in her basement and  _ interrogated _ him about her sister. She swallowed hard getting the toast down.    
“I have my reasons.” She mumbled and sipped at her glass of water.    
“And if I know you, those reasons will keep you from returning.” He gave her a knowing smirk and she fought the urge to stab him with her fork.    
“I’m glad you are enjoying this.” She scoffed and angrily bit into a piece of bacon while staring him down. Jefferson sighed.    
“I’m not enjoying this Jordan, I don’t like that you were hurt. I don’t like that you are scared and I’m glad that after everything, you still came back to me. Just eat, we can finish talking later.”    
They finished their meal in awkward silence.    
  
Jordan paced the floor in the living room. Was she really doing this? Was she really coming back here? Jefferson was odd, and he was bloody mad at points but he always had a way of making her feel safe. He took care of her, and she took care of him in a way too. Their relationship was a strange, and twisted one but it was theirs.    
“You’re nervous.” Jefferson said as he came up behind her startling her. She yelped and turned around and went to hit him but he caught her hand.    
“I’m sorry, I’m not used to Jumpy Jordan.” Jefferson apologized.    
“I’m not either.” Jordan mumbled.    
“You have nothing to be afraid of here Jordan, you know me. I’d never lay an unwanted hand on you and I’d definitely never do what  _ he _ did to you.” Jefferson said with jealousy in his tone.    
“It wasn’t really him Jefferson.” Jordan sighed and ran her hands through her hair.    
“Don’t make excuses for him.” Jefferson sneered.    
“I’m not! I’m just saying there was a complete difference from the Killian I knew, and the Killian that did what he did to me.. And what he did to my sister.”    
“He’s the same pirate Jordan. The same man just wearing a new mask.”    
“Christ you sound like Benjamin.” Jordan rolled her eyes. “You aren’t exactly innocent. You’ve hit me too.”    
“You asked me to! It was with your consent! And I didn’t beat the hell out of you with a whip.”    
“I’m just saying cast your stones elsewhere.” Jordan shrugged.    
“There is a hell of a difference between the things we did, and the things He did so don’t you dare go there not with me.” Jefferson barked closing the space between them. “I’ll bet you didn’t even trust him enough to let him do half of the things we did.” He said smugly. He wasn’t wrong Jefferson was the only man she’d ever been with that she gave complete control to and not just in the bedroom. There was something freeing about having every decision made for her and Jefferson was the only person she trusted enough to do that.    
“Things have changed Jefferson. If you think I’d ever let you have that power over me again..”    
“I already do.” Jefferson chuckled. “If I didn’t you wouldn’t be here. But in case I’m wrong..” he said and walked over to the front door and opened it. Jordan froze and mentally cursed herself. Why was she so afraid to go out there? To face the people of Storybrooke?    
“I.. can’t.” She shook her head and turned away. “I can’t go out there.”    
“I Know.” Jefferson said and closed the door. “You can stay here Jordan. I don’t expect you to fall back in line right away because I know that eventually you will.  you know I can make you feel better. I can take away the pain.” He whispered in her ear as his hands settled themselves on her hips. Jordan shuddered at his breath on her neck and pulled away.    
“Smug bastard..” She grumbled and walked away from him retreating up the stairs.    
“Stubborn Princess!” He shouted after her smirking at the sound of her stomping and then a door slamming.    
  
Jefferson walked up the stairs a few hours later to find Jordan throwing darts aggressively at a dartboard in his rarely used game room.    
“I think you are the only person who comes in here.” He said. Jordan looked over her shoulder at him.    
“What do you want?” She asked and threw another dart without even looking and it hit the bullseye.    
“You’re still a good shot.”    
“Practice.” Jordan shrugged and crossed her arms looking at the bottle of Jameson in his hands. “What's that?”    
“A peace offering. We’ve got a lot of bitterness between us that we need to work out, and maybe instead of taking shots at each other, we can just take shots and lay it all out on the table.” Jefferson offered.    
“As long as we understand that the past, is the only thing we are  _ laying out  _ on the table.” Jordan said narrowing her eyes.    
Jefferson smirked. “Of course. Unless of course you change your mind.” He winked before walking out of the room. Jordan rolled her eyes trying to hide a small smile as she followed him out of the room.    
  
Jordan and Jefferson were on their third set of shots before they’d even begun talking.   
“Why did you leave me?” Jefferson asked.    
“Which time?” Jordan answered with her own question.    
“We’ll start with the first.” Jefferson sighed unamused.    
“Well honestly, the first time I didn’t exactly leave you. The queen kind of took me.”    
“But you stayed you could have come back.” Jefferson scoffed.    
“I’m sorry, have you not met Regina?” Jordan asked with a bewildered look on her face. “Besides she promised me my sisters location if I did what she asked, turns out that was a load of rubbish.” Jordan mumbled and took another shot.    
“Why did you leave the second time?” Jefferson asked. Jordan sighed.    
“I wanted to try and do things on my own. I’d been with you for as long as I could remember and I just wanted to see how I did on my own terms for once. Between my father commanding me around, and then you, and then the Queen i’d never lived on my own terms and when I tried to talk to you about it, you blew up. So I made the choice to leave.” Jordan shrugged. Jefferson looked hurt.    
“Blew up?” He asked. “I didn’t blow up.”    
“Aye, you did.” Jordan said. “You were drunk.you were upset after Emma couldn’t get the hat to work to take us back home. I told you it was okay, I didn’t want to go back home anyways I wanted to try and make a new life in Storybrooke and you went mad you pushed me into the wall and told me you wouldn’t allow me leave. So when you passed out I left.”    
“I don’t remember that..” Jefferson mumbled.    
“That's the fun thing about Whiskey it makes you forget things you don’t want to remember.” Jordan shrugged and took another shot.    
“You should slow down.” Jefferson said. “I know how you get when you drink too much and you specifically said you didn’t want to be laid out on the table.”  Jefferson grinned. Jordan felt a blush spreading across her cheeks and shook her head.    
“Me slow down? You’re three shots in and squiffy.” She giggled. Jefferson reached out and held the pink sparkling liquid in a vile that was hung around her neck on a chain between his fingers.    
“What is this?” He asked. Jordan took it from him and tucked it back into her shirt.    
“Its mine.” Jordan shrugged.    
“But what is it?” Jefferson pressed. Jordan sighed.    
“It's the potion to reverse the infertility potion my father gave me on my 17th birthday it's the only bit of it left so don’t touch it.” She said and slapped his hand away as he reached out again.    
“Why don’t you just use it?” Jefferson asked.    
“Because I’m not sure I want to but I want to keep it safe.. In case I do.” Jordan explained.    
“Fair enough.” Jefferson shrugged and looked down at his empty shot glass. “I’m sorry, if I frightened you and that's why you left..” He sighed. “I never wanted that to happen Jordan.”    
“Its fine Jefferson.. Truly, I’m over it.” Jordan shrugged. “You know you’re the only person who actually knows me from my past that doesn’t call me Mae.”    
“Because I know you hate that name, and all the memories attached with it.” Jefferson said. “Granted your cursed Life.. was not really any better.” He smirked. Jordan laughed.    
“Oh Gods.. don’t remind me.”    
“I can still see you, wearing that atrocious lime green outfit, coming to my door to sell me your plant based vitamins and protein shakes”  Jefferson chuckled    
Jordan laughed while taking a drink and sprayed it everywhere.    
“Regina is such a spiteful bitch. She made you a door to door sales hippie” Jefferson smirked.    
“I was more like a bloody cult leader. Thank Gods you invited me inside and woke me up from that nightmare.”    
“Only to bring you to a new one..” Jefferson frowned. Jordan sighed and put her hand over his. “It wasn’t all bad Jeffy.”    
Jefferson snorted and took the bottle of whiskey from her.    
“You just called me Jeffy, you are officially cut off.”    
“Hey! Give it back.” Jordan whined and followed him as he closed it and put it in a liquor cabinet and locked it and slipped the key into his back pocket. He turned around and laughed at Jordan pouting at him.    
“I told you, you should have slowed down.”    
“Yeah well we both know I have a listening problem.” She smirked as Jefferson started backing her into the counter.    
“We both know I have ways to fix that.” He purred in her ear. He pulled away from her and the two of them locked eyes. Jordan’s pupils were dilated and her chest was heaving. She ghosted her fingers up his arms and he pinned her to the counter with his hips and crashed his lips into hers. Jordan reached up and tangled her fingers in his hair. Jefferson put his hands on the back of her legs and lifted her onto the counter He pulled away from her lips and kissed down her neck and along her collarbone. Jordan threw her head back and her eyes closed and the first thing she saw when she closed her eyes was Killian’s face. His eyes were watering, and his expression was heartbreaking and suddenly Jordan was consumed with the feeling of guilt. She snapped out of it and pushed Jefferson away.    
“I.. I’m sorry. I can’t.” She said and hopped off the counter running out of the kitchen. She shouldn’t have felt this way, she should have felt as if she was betraying Killian so why did she?   
  
\-------------------------------------------------   
It had been a couple weeks, Jefferson and Jordan had both decided that they were just drunk that night and left it at that. Jordan didn’t want to talk about it, and Jefferson didn’t want Jordan to leave again so he left it alone.    
  
Killian and Emma, had begun to rekindle their friendship. Even after Killian had told her the truth about absolutely everything, Emma stuck around and talked with him. Checked on him from time to time, She knew he was doing poorly without Jordan around. He’d even been in to see Archie a couple of times. He was truly trying to own his mistakes and fix things with Jordan but he understood he had to fix himself first.    
Killian and Emma sat having dinner at Grannies, as friends nothing more. Both of them liked to make that clear. Emma noticed Killian had been looking at the counter and she followed his gaze to Jefferson, who had his eyes locked onto Killian. Emma turned back to Killian.    
“Killian..” She said and nudged him. Killian turned his head back to her.    
“What?” He asked.    
“Why are you staring at Jefferson?” Emma asked with an eyebrow raised.    
“Me? He’s been bloody glaring at me since he walked in here.” Killian hissed. “I’m trying to think if I know him, or if I’ve wronged him somehow.”    
“He keeps to himself so its unlikely, unless you did something to him in the past?” Emma suggested   
“Swan, I usually remember those I’ve made enemies with and I don’t remember him.” He said and his eyes Left Emma as Jefferson thanked Ruby and walked past the table staring daggers at Killian before he walked out the door giving even Emma the chills. Though that wasn’t hard for him to do, given her own past with the hatter and then it dawned on her. She couldn’t believe she didn’t remember until now.    
“What is it Swan? You look like you’ve had an epiphany..” Killian sighed.    
“I think I know why exactly why he was looking at you like that.. And..you are not going to like it.” Emma cringed.     
“What makes you think that?” Killian asked.    
“Well, its just..I thought I met Jordan a while after you came to Storybrooke, but I’m remembering now, that I met her long before that actually. In Jefferson's Mansion..”    



	14. Charm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma remembers how she actually met Jordan. Killian upset with this news goes to Jefferson's mansion with plans to speak with Jordan.  
> Jefferson misleads Jordan into thinking Killian and Emma have rekindled their romance.  
> Angst ensues. Yay Angst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *HEED THE NOTES FROM THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER*  
> Don't hate me guys.. ._. I like the angst.  
> Also as always don't forget to comment and let me know how you are liking the story!   
> Tell me things you are excited for, things you aren't so sure about, even things you'd like to see happen! Your feedback helps keep this fic alive!   
> Thank you :)

_ Emma looked up at the large mansion in front of her.  _ __  
_ “Wow this is your house? It looks more like a hotel, you must have a huge family.” She observed.  _ __  
_ “No, actually it's just me.” Jefferson said and smiled as he hobbled to the steps.  _ __  
_ “Here wait, let me help.” Emma said and took his arm helping him up the steps and into the house.  _ __  
_ “I’ll be right back.” Jefferson said and walked into the kitchen, Leaving Emma to get a good look at the living room. Something was odd about this man living all on his own, and something about his demeanor was off. She had to come up with an excuse to get out of here, even if she felt horrible for hitting him with her car and then making up a lame story about looking for her dog.  _ __  
_ Jefferson walked back into the living room with a tea tray.  _ __  
_ “Here we go, I thought you might want to warm up for your search. Its cold out there.” He offered kindly.  _ __  
_ “Thats kind of you, really but I should get back to it.” Emma said returning his smile.  _ __  
_ “I know thats why I brought this.” Jefferson unrolled a map and laid it on the table. “I’m a bit of an amature cartographer, Mapping the area is my hobby. Maybe this will help you find your dog?” He suggested.  _ __  
_ “Oh Wow.” Emma said and sipped at her tea while looking over the map.  _ __  
_ “Whats his name? The dog?” Jefferson asked. Emma hesitated for a moment before she came up with an answer.  _ __  
_ “Spot.” She said hoping he wouldn’t catch on to her lie. Jefferson smiled and chuckled a little  _ __  
_ “Cute.” He replied.  _ __  
_ Emma continued to look over the map, but felt her eyes getting heavy.  _ __  
_ “Well, route 6 runs the boundary of the forest, so if… I just follow that.. I should be able to..” She paused and held her head as she felt dizzy.  _ __  
_ “Is something wrong?” Jefferson asked in mocking concern that Emma realized she had picked up on a tad too late.  _ __  
_ “I’m just.. A little..” She didn’t even finish the sentence before she fell forward. Jefferson caught her and dragged her to the couch  _ __  
_ “Dizzy.” Emma mumbled.  _ __  
_ “Let me help you.” Jefferson said. “Lets lay you down.” He said helping her on the couch.  _ __  
_ “Your limp.. Its..” Emma slurred.  _ __  
_ “Oh. That? Well.. I guess you caught me.” Jefferson grinned.  _ __  
_ “Who are you?” She mumbled before closing her eyes and slipping to sleep.  _ __  
_ “For some magical person she isn’t very bright.” Jordan giggled. Jefferson whipped around.  _ __  
_ “God dammit Jordan I told you to stay in the kitchen!” He spat.  _ __  
_ “But she’s out cold! She’ll never know I was here.” Jordan pouted. “I want to see.” She insisted and grinned. _ __  
_ “See what?” Jefferson asked.  _ __  
_ “I want to see her do the magic or whatever you think she will do.” Jordan shrugged. “Please?”  _ __  
_ “No. I already told her I lived alone. Go upstairs.” He ordered. Jordan frowned and crossed her arms stubbornly. Jefferson closed the space between them towering over her.  _ __  
_ “We don’t have time for this right now. Do what I say. Please.” He said and pointed to the stairs. Jordan huffed like an annoyed child and turned around and stormed up the stairs.  _ __  
_ “Quietly!” Jefferson snapped.  _ __  
__  
_ Jefferson pulled a now conscious Emma down the hall and into a room filled with top hats lining the walls.  _ __  
_ “What do you need me for?” She demanded.  _ __  
_ “I need your help so I can leave.” Jefferson said keeping his gun pointed at Emma.  _ __  
_ “What do you mean so you can leave? Just get in your car and go!” Emma snapped.  _ __  
_ “I can’t there is a curse over the town.” Jefferson argued.  _ __  
_ “Oh, have you been reading Henry’s story book?” Emma sighed that damn book was getting her into more trouble than she wanted.  _ __  
_ “Don’t play stupid, you are the only one who can come and go freely.” Jefferson sneered. “What does the Queens father have to do with this?”  _ __  
_ “The queens father? I’m talking about Henry, the mayors adopted son!” Emma spat. This guy was insane.  _ __  
_ “Oh. That Henry, your Henry and his book of stories, Stories you keep choosing to ignore. Maybe if you knew what I know, you wouldn’t.”  _ __  
_ “You aren’t making any sense..” Emma sighed heavily.  _ __  
_ “I have been in this house for the last 28 years, day after day it's all the same until you and your little yellow bug rolled into town and then things started to change. I know what you refuse to accept and you brought something with you to town. Something precious. Magic.” Jefferson explained.  _ __  
_ “You are insane!” Emma practically screamed.  _ __  
_ “Because I speak the truth?” Jefferson asked.  _ __  
_ “Because you are talking about magic!” Emma groaned she just wanted to go.  _ __  
_ “Im talking about what I’ve seen, perhaps you are the one who is mad.” Jefferson smiled.  _ __  
_ “What do you want from me?” Emma asked again.  _ __  
_ “I want you to make it work.” Jefferson said  _ __  
_ “Make what work?” Emma asked in disbelief as Jefferson sat down in front of of bunch of sewing supplies across from Emma.  _ __  
_ “You’re the only one who can.” He sighed. “Make one, just like that.” He said and pointed to one of his hats.  _ __  
_ “You want me to make a Hat?” Emma scoffed. “You don’t have enough?”  _ __  
_ “Well none of them work now do they? No because if they did you wouldn’t be here!” Jefferson snapped. “Now make the hat, and get it to work!” He said pointing the gun at her again.  _ __  
_ “I can’t!” Emma pleaded.  _ __  
_ “You have magic, you can do it.” Jefferson suggested. Emma suddenly realised who she was dealing with, at least who he thought he was.  _ __  
_ “The tea, the hat, your psychotic behavior.. You think you're The Mad Hatter.” Emma rolled her eyes.  _ __  
_ “His name is Jefferson..” Jordan said as she stepped in the room.  _ __  
_ “Who the hell are you?” Emma asked looking the girl up and down, she was dressed mostly in black, with a mesh top, and a black leather skirt the main focus of her attire. She also wore a leather choker, with a metal ring and a little silver top hat charm on the ring. It looked like a collar someone would put on their pet. This guy was one twisted son of a bitch.  _ __  
_ “I’m J-” Jordan started but Jefferson stood up angrily  _ __  
_ “She’s the maid.” he said and handcuffed Emma to the table  _ __  
_ “Get to work.” he mumbled before grabbing Jordans arm and leading her out of the room.  _ __  
_ “Ow! What is your problem?” Jordan demanded when they were in the hallway.  _ __  
_ “You, currently.” Jefferson grumbled and lead her down the hall to the game room.  _ __  
_ “Why am I the problem? I just wanted to see it! Why is it so wrong she knows I’m here?” Jordan asked.  _ __  
_ “Because. If this goes wrong if she knew about you, which now she does she may hurt you to try and get away from me. I didn’t want that!” Jefferson spat and dragged her over to the corner of the room pushing her down so she was sitting. He attached a chain coming from the wall to the ring on the choker on her neck. He took the little top hat charm on the ring of the choker between his fingers and sighed.  _ __  
_ “Sorry, this is the only way I know you’ll stay put.” He said.  _ __  
_ “I’m not afraid of her hurting me Jefferson, I was a bloody assassin, I could literally kill her before she blinked.”  _ __  
_ “We need her to get home and out of this town!” Jefferson grumbled. “What is wrong with you today?”  _ __  
_ “I’m bored.” Jordan sighed.  _ __  
_ “Find a way to entertain yourself.”  _ __  
_ Jordan grinned devilishly.  _ __  
_ “Oh no. I have to get back in there with Emma. Later.” He smiled.  _ __  
_ Jordan rolled her eyes. “All you’ve talked about for days is this Emma. I’m quite sick of her.”  _ __  
_ “Are you jealous?” Jefferson asked and knelt down tucking her hair behind her ear.  _ __  
_ “No.” Jordan mumbled.  _ __  
_ “Don’t lie to me.” Jefferson said and held the gun under her chin. Jordan bit her lip and her eyes sparkled. God he loved her insanity. He loved her.  _ __  
_ “You know I’ll bet Emma will be busy with that hat for quite some time, and you did handcuff her to the table so its not like she’ll be going anywhere.” Jordan said and trailed her fingers up his thighs towards his belt. “I can be quick.” She smiled. Jefferson grinned and raised the gun to her head pressing it to her temple.  _ __  
_ “See that you are.” He purred.  _ __  
__  
_ Emma had broken free from the handcuffs, and cautiously walked down the hallway noticing a door open just a crack. She slowly peeked into the room and wished she hadn’t. The girl from earlier was on her knees in front of Jefferson, There was a chain coming from the wall attached to the choker she wore. Jefferson had his pants down past his hips, The girls dark brown hair was tightly wound around his left hand and he was pulling hard on it as she sucked him off right in front of Emma. Emma noticed that in his right hand the gun he had pointed at her earlier was held to the girls head. Why was he doing this to this poor girl, she had to help her. She slowly and stealthily crept into the room and picked up a pool cue from the wall walking up behind Jefferson. The girl opened her eyes and her orange irises were wild with fear she pulled away from Jefferson and gasped right as Emma cracked him over the back of the head with pool cue and he dropped the gun and collapsed.  _ __  
_ “Jefferson!” The girl shouted as Emma kicked the gun away.  _ __  
_ “Hey, It's okay, I’m going to get you out of here.” Emma said.  _ __  
_ “I don’t want to leave!” The girl screamed at her with tears in her eyes as she looked down at Jefferson.  _ __  
_ “You didn’t have to hurt him!”  _ __  
_ “He was holding a gun to your head!” Emma exclaimed.  _ __  
_ “Go!” The girl screamed “Just leave!”  _ __  
_ “Okay.. Okay..” Emma said and put her hands out. The girl was clearly just as insane as he was. Emma backed away and left the room, and the mansion.  _ __  
__  
_ \------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ _ __  
  
Killian shook his head in disbelief as Emma told him about the first time she truly met Jordan.    
“Do you think she’s there now?” Killian asked.    
“If I had to guess. Given the way he looked at you.”    
“He has no business looking at me that way, hes a bloody psychopath!” Killian spat and stood up.    
“Hey, wait! Where are you going?” Emma asked.    
“I’m going to that mansion and I am getting Jordan the hell out of there.”    
“Killian that was a long time ago, He was different then, you were too and I think you are the last person Jordan would go with right now. It's not a good idea.” Emma sighed.    
“So I’m just supposed to sit back and let him manipulate her into being his little lap dog again?”    
“We don’t know thats whats happening. Just calm down.” Emma pleaded with him.    
“I’ll calm down once I make sure she’s fine.” Killian said and grabbed his jacket putting it on as he walked out of the diner.    
  
Jefferson pulled up to the mansion and got out of the car, he could hear Jordan’s music blaring from outside. He walked inside and smiled as she danced around the living room while cleaning things up. He was reminded of old times when it was just the two of them, simpler happier times that he longed for. Jordan turned around and looked at him with a wide eyed embarrassed expression as she hurried over to the radio to turn it down.    
“You do realize I’ve seen you dance around before?” Jefferson asked with a chuckle. “You’ve even done it in your underwear lip singing into a hair brush. I’ve seen it all Jordy.”    
“I just didn’t expect you back so soon, Granny’s is usually packed on fridays.” Jordan said and put the books back in place on the shelf and followed Jefferson to the dining table and sat down to start eating. She opened her bag of food and found a slip of paper.    
_ If He’s holding you hostage, text me.- Ruby _ __  
“Whats that?” Jefferson asked and took it from her. Jordan cringed as he read it. He looked upset as he crumpled it and tossed it.    
“How did she know you are here?” He asked.    
“She knows my order.” Jordan shrugged. “She just doesn’t understand Jefferson, none of them do.. Don’t let it get to you.” She said and started eating. Jefferson smiled at her. If anyone understood his madness it was her.    
They ate in silence for a little while before Jefferson spoke up.    
“So, it looks like everyone's favorite pirate, savior duo is back together.” Jefferson said and glanced up as Jordan almost choked on her food.    
“What?” She asked.    
“I saw Killian and Emma.. together at Granny's.” Jefferson replied.    
“Oh..” Jordan said and swallowed thickly. “Good for them, I suppose.” She shrugged but Jefferson could see the news shattered her.   
  
It was a while after dinner, Jefferson had left Jordan to be by herself for a little while which he should have known was a bad idea. He walked into the kitchen, and the lock on the liquor cabinet was broken. He sighed and walked into the living room where Jordan was curled up on the sofa with her bottle of Jameson wiping tears from her eyes. Jefferson sat down beside her and put his hand on her knee.    
“You okay?” He asked.    
“Peachy.” She mumbled and took a long pull from the bottle.    
“Right, that was a stupid question.” Jefferson said and took the bottle from her and put it on the side table.    
“Want to talk about it?”    
“I should have known he’d go back to her..” Jordan said.    
“Why do you care? After what he did?” Jefferson asked.    
“Because Jefferson. I love him for some Gods Damn reason I love him.” Jordan sniffled and wiped more tears as they fell. “I don’t want to love him anymore. I don’t want to feel this anymore, I just want to feel anything else.” She sobbed. Jefferson laced his fingers with hers and leaned in kissing her tears off her cheeks. Jordan looked up at him.    
“Make me feel something else..” She said and leaned in and kissed him.    
“Are you sure?” Jefferson asked as he pulled away. “Last time..”    
“I know last time. I stopped you but I’m not stopping you this time Jefferson. I am begging you. Please.”    
Jefferson thumbed away the tear that rolled down her cheek and nodded.    
“Okay.” He whispered and brought his lips back to hers.    
  
Killian walked up the steps to the mansion. He honestly had no idea what he was going to say, or do when Jefferson opened the door, and he really had no idea what he’d say if it was Jordan who opened it. He went to ring the bell, but heard something strange. He looked and noticed that one of the windows was cracked open just a bit. He walked to the window the soft moans and pants were growing louder and he almost didn’t want to look, but he couldn’t stop himself. He peeked into the window and instantly wished he could take it back. There was a dull ache in his chest as he felt like his heart dropped into his stomach watching Jefferson and his Jordan rolling around on the couch, their hands and lips moving all over each other. Jefferson must have felt he was being watched. He looked up, and locked eyes with Killian and gods be damned if he didn’t give Killian a knowing smirk. Killian backed away from the window trying to get the image of him  and Jordan out of his head as he turned and stepped off the porch. His blue eyes unwillingly welled over with tears as he walked away from the mansion.    
He’d truly lost her.    
  
Jefferson held Jordan in his arms while they laid tangled up together.    
“Feeling better?” He asked. Jordan nodded.    
“Thank you.” She said softly. Truthfully, she didn’t feel that much better, she only felt guilty now and didn’t understand why. Killian had obviously moved on and went back to Emma, so why should she feel guilty for doing what she did with Jefferson.    
“I.. have something for you.” Jefferson said. Jordan sat up and wrapped herself in the throw blanket on the couch.    
“Oh yea?” She asked. Jefferson smiled and reached into the side table drawer and pulled out a felt box.    
“You don’t have to accept it. But.. if you want it..” He said and handed it to her. Jordan opened the box and looked down at the little silver top hat charm. She ran her thumb over it.    
“I kept it for you.. In case.” He added.   
She hesitated, but she remembered how she felt when Jefferson told her he’d seen Emma and Killian together. She took the charm out of the box.   
“Will you put it on?” She asked. Jefferson grinned ear to ear and leaned forward reattaching the charm to the metal ring on her choker.    
“Welcome back.” He whispered in her ear before kissing her on the cheek.    
__  



	15. Apologies

Sorry it's been so long since I've updated, ive been incredibly busy with work because of the holiday season and I have a bunch of other books that I write as well on my wattpad account. Im trying to get back into the groove of things with this story but I've just been lacking the inspiration needed to write this one. And it sucks because I have so many things I want to do with it, just can't seem to find the time or the energy to write in this fan fiction. I'm basically letting you guys know I'm alive and I'll get to updating eventually..

Let me know how you are liking the story so far!   
If there are things you dont like, let me know!  
Things you are excited for? Tell me!   
Your feedback might just spark some inspiration!

**Author's Note:**

> So there is Chapter 1! Let me know what you think in the comments! This one is going to be fun <3


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